Freddy Krueger's long and bloody road back to relevance

You'd have to be working pretty hard to avoid it, but in case you missed the firestorm and seemingly endless bombardment of television ads recently, there's a remake of "A Nightmare on Elm Street" coming out in exactly one week's time. What the ads don't tell you, however, is that the remake is being produced by Platinum Dunes - a production company owned by Michael Bay and lorded over by Andrew Form and Brad Fuller. To put it lightly, these three gentlemen are seen with dubious distinction in the horror community, and the fact that the much-beloved, hugely successful "Nightmare on Elm Street" franchise lies in their possession is a very hot-blooded topic within the internet horror community.

It's been a long time coming for a series that, for the better part of six years, was my favorite horror franchise. The last time we saw Freddy Krueger on the big screen was way back in 2003 in "Freddy vs. Jason," in and of itself a motion picture fifteen years in the making, and in this reporter's opinion everything that it had been hyped as and more. "Freddy vs. Jason" delivered the goods when it came to the grit, the gore, and the slasher flick staples that both the "Nightmare" and "Friday the 13th" series had become known for, and as Robert Englund's swan song in the Freddy role, it couldn't come any better than this.

And since then...nothing, until now. Only the "Nightmare on Elm Street" that we will all witness on April 30th is a very different animal from what we've been used to...well, ever. Firstly, this marks the first time that Englund will not be behind the red-and-black sweater, fedora, and signature burn makeup in the iconic role of Freddy. Nope - this movie's demonic dream stalker is none other than Jackie Earle Haley, a name that you likely don't know, but a face that you likely recognize. Or maybe not. Haley is the very definition of the term "character actor," a man able to seemingly vanish within roles and become characters with unbelievable precision. You may know him from "Semi-Pro," as Rorschach in the "Watchmen" feature film, or as Guerrero on the Fox TV show "Human Target." One thing he never is, however, is boring. Nonetheless, it's not Mr. Krueger that I'm worried about.

About two years ago, I had a revelation. Horror fans, by and large, consider Wes Craven's original 1984 film that launched the franchise to be a masterpiece. Having no new horror DVD's to watch on this particular June night, I dug out the Craven flick for another go and, on that night, something just leapt out at me. I was very underwhelmed by it. I'd always gone along with everyone else's assumption that it's this unparalleled classic of the horror genre, but the truth is that this is a movie that could USE a remake. Englund is awesome in his first-go as the mostly silent Krueger, and scream queen Heather Langenkamp owns as good girl Nancy Thompson, but other than that...we get static, one-dimensional characters, some very questionable dialogue, more than a few plot holes, the oft-used plot device of police officers who don't believe teenagers no matter WHAT they say, and a VERY suspect ending, even by horror movie standards.

In short, I saw loads of room for improvement, and this realization really shattered my belief system. Before that, I'd been one of the most vehement voices against remaking the slasher flicks of the '80s that were so near and dear to my heart. Since then, I've become an ardent supporter of remakes, and am much more apt to see the positive aspects of re-imagining these classic campfire scary stories for the modern generation. For starters, they always lead to a special-edition DVD of the older film.

Over the course of that summer, I grew obsessed with the prospect of a "Nightmare" remake that not only took that original movie and regurgitated the story in a modern setting, but made it its goal to treat its characters and story with as much love and respect as Craven had paid (and, in my opinion, failed at doing). I envisioned a "Nightmare on Elm Street" with a Nancy Thompson even more likable and engaging than Langenkamp's version, a cast of teens with clear, distinct personalities (as opposed to the vanilla wafers featured in the original movie), a true sense of desperation in regards to the situation that the characters in peril face, and perhaps most importantly, a truly sick, evil, irredeemable Freddy Krueger, perhaps more talky than he was in Craven's original, but nowhere NEAR the one-liner machine and antihero he became in later sequels.

Much like a serial killer, fantasizing wasn't enough, and I took a stab (pun completely intended) at writing my own screenplay for a "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake. It came out in a burst - the whole thing was completed in just six days. Since then, it's gotten some praise from online fans, and even a former film professor, it's been savaged to high heaven on simplyscripts.com, and it now sits collecting virtual dust on my computer hard drive.

God, that was almost two years ago already?

My "Nightmare" fan script was written in August of 2008, before the announcement came that Platinum Dunes had acquired the rights to the name and decided to pursue a remake. That announcement came a short time later, and since then, I've been one of the most vocal supporters of this concept, despite some of the information that has spiralled out from the set during the course of its development, writing, and production. I've been supportive because, in my opinion, this series reached its zenith with "A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors," one of the most perfect horror films of all time, quickly began hitting speed bumps, and has never come CLOSE to matching that immortal third film in the series. In other words, you got the rights, PD boys, so go for it, bro.

Regardless of the movie's quality, here's hoping we get one thing out of this movie - a true horror superstar to surpass the vastly overplayed Jigsaw of the "Saw" series. Maybe I'm creating something out of nothing, but it seems like it's become this very uncool thing to be a fan of horror movies. We've become creatures who increasingly have to look either backward or overseas for our horror fixes, thus only making us seem more nerdy to the ordinary folk who populate their DVD shelves with romantic comedies and Michael Bay's actual directorial efforts.

In the '80s, it was a different story, largely due to the guy who will be a villain again a few days from now. Freddy Krueger was a pop culture icon who appeared on everything from t-shirts to bedsheets. The horror genre is in desperate need of that sort of thing at the moment - an instantly identifiable figure to attach itself to, one that is more active and tangible than Tobin Bell's smarmy and philosophical Jigsaw character (who has been DEAD SINCE THE THIRD MOVIE IN THE FRANCHISE, for Christ's sake). In essence, a star. Haley possesses the acting chops and the charisma to make Freddy Krueger a star, and by extension, make horror cool again. And if that happens, huzzah for this movie.

I've spent a lot of time in the last 20 months thinking about what I would want a remake of "Nightmare on Elm Street" to be, not only in writing that silly fan script, but since some of the more off-key possibilities about the PD film have filtered in. Possibilities that include a sympathetic portrayal of Freddy Krueger, a Nancy with severe angst issues, and the usual PD speed bump - disposable, CW-type actors and actresses. There's been a whole boatload of questions and concerns among the horror fanboys on the net as the film has progressed, mainly boiling down to one question - will this movie make an honest attempt at not only being good, but being better than its source film, or will it be just another PD yawnfest?

I'll see you all next Friday for the answer.