IHR induction #46: "Return of the Living Dead" (1985, Dan O'Bannon)

First things first - everybody already knows how I feel about zombie movies, and I won't torture you with the manifesto again. f***, I'm sick of TYPING it, so God only knows how all of you feel.

Secondly, this flick is YET ANOTHER piece of horror history that I saw for the first time on Joe Bob Briggs' MonsterVision. Man, what an awesome show that was. The Saturday night ritual that introduced me to "Carrie," "Maximum Overdrive," the insanely long director's cut version of "Needful Things," and Oliver Stone's magnum opus "The Hand." And that...is some lineup, I tell ya.

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"Return of the Living Dead" is a pretty highly heralded piece of work in the horror community, holding a lofty ranking in both the zombie and horror comedy subgenres. It's hard to disagree with all of the praise; when compared to sibling movies featuring undead flesh-eaters, the movie is undoubtedly more funny, more entertaining, and even better WRITTEN (thanks largely to an excellent script by Dan O'Bannon, the guy behind "Alien" and "Lifeforce" who also directed this film) than the vast majority of zombie movies out there in the great fruited plain. In addition to that, it's got a soundtrack largely featuring '80s punk rock and death metal that gives it an unmistakable camp/cult appeal, as well as a couple well-known luminaries of the horror genre as cast members.

THE MOVIE!!

It's the first day on the job for Freddy (Thom Matthews, AFOREMENTIONED horror luminary #1, although he wasn't quite a luminary yet as he wouldn't star in "Friday the 13th Part VI" until the following year, so sue me) on the night shift at a medical supplies warehouse. As they often do, Frank (James Karen), one of the higher-ups at the warehouse, attempts to impress the newbie by showing him some hidden secret thing that said building contains. In this case, it's an actual preserved zombie. In one of those insane movie accidents, said preserved zombie drum releases toxic gas on the two bumbling characters, thus setting in motion the plot of "Return of the Living Dead."

Moving along, the gas resurrects one of the corpses held at the warehouse, causing Frank and Freddy to call in their boss, Burt (Clu Gulager, an icon of '70s television). When discussing methods of killing the reanimated body, they theorize that the best way is to destroy the brain because, after all, "it's how they did it in that movie!" Much to their surprise, it doesn't work - along with seemingly everything else. With nowhere else to turn, they decide to cut the body up into small pieces and take it to the friendly local mortician, Ernie (Don Calfa), who decides to dispose of the remains by putting them in his cremation device. Well, wouldn't you know, the smoke causes an acid rain storm that has a decidedly nasty effect on the bodies buried in the nearby graveyard...

Periodically throughout these introductory segments, we've been shown glimpses of the everyday life of a group of very punkish looking kids. Presently, these guys are hanging out in the cemetery, where the group's token sluttish girl Trash (played by Linnea Quigley, and if you don't know who she is...what's wrong with you??!) tells us about her nightmares involving getting eaten by wrinkley old men before stripping naked and dancing among the gravestones. It's just as epic seeing it in person, believe me. As per expected, this is the point that the ROTLD brand of zombies make their resurrection, immediately killing Trash and scaring the holy hell out of the remaining street punks, who make their way across the street to the mortuary.

Just before the kids arrive, Ernie decides to call an ambulance for Freddy and Frank, both of whom are beginning to exhibit some decidedly strange traits due to their exposure to the drum's chemical. When the paramedics arrive, what they find is quite unnerving - both men have no pulse, no vital signs. By all accounts, they are dead. The paramedics go out to their ambulance to grab some supplies, only to be ambushed by the zombie army and killed. One of the zombies grabs the ambulance radio and informs whoever is on the other line to "send more paramedics."

This would be your classic "survivors holed in against the undead" portion that almost every zombie movie proudly features, and I must admit that this is the section of the film that truly shines and creates a unique atmosphere that holds true for the remainder of the running time. Mixing genuine tension with the black comedy that the movie had been employing sporadically, the movie becomes hard to turn away from. What's more, it's even a little sad, as Freddy's girlfriend Tina (Beverly Randolph) comes into the fold. How dedicated of a girlfriend is she? This chick actually lets her zombified boyfriend eat her brain, due only to the fact that he was nice enough to ask. Now that is some girlfriend.

I'm really not doing the movie justice with this review - it's true glory lies in a lot of the mannerisms of the characters, as well as the true dark nature of its humor. Both of which, along with many other things, are extremely entertaining in abundance here. This is one of the most downright FUN horror movies you'll ever see, featuring a cast of actors who truly give it their damndest (particularly Karen, who was nominated for a Saturn award for his portrayal of Frank) along with inspired writing and directing work from O'Bannon. As one of horror's great ones who had previously been the creative guy behind some very big movies, "Return of the Living Dead" was Dan O'Bannon's first shot at directing a feature film, and he made the most of the opportunity. His surprising touch for writing not only good horror but good comedy is the driving force that makes this movie infinitely memorable, and he is definitely missed in the great, grand genre of horror. At any rate, he's definitely created a bona fide modern classic which all of you need to check out (if you haven't already).

Final word - as much as I enjoy this film, I actually prefer the sequel, "Return of the Living Dead Part II," which ratchets up the humor aspect to the point of being damn near parody. However, seemingly everyone else on the planet disagrees with me on this ranking, hence why this movie is inducted here today.

IHR induction #45: "A Tale of Two Sisters" (2003, Kim Ji-woon)

It may be hard to believe, but the guy typing these words has an everyday life. It may not be much of one, but it exists, I assure you. It's always a nonstop 24-hour cycle of booze, sex, and rock and roll...okay, that's a total lie. But in the time that I've spent on the midnight-eight factory shift, I've let it slip a few times just what my daily routine is AWAY from said midnight-eight factory shift. Namely, a few hours of computer cruising, followed by my daily ritual of falling asleep with horror movies on in the background. Pretty much everyone that I've ever told that to looks at me like I'm a goddamn serial killer...so judge away.

Anyway, while a lot of the movies in my moderate-sized horror collection have popped through the ol' DVD player at some point or another in my dalliances with the nocturnal lifestyle, there's a few that, for some reason or another, just don't lend themselves to early-afternoon-falling-asleep-whore digestion. Like this one right here. "A Tale of Two Sisters" is really a hard movie to watch, as well as review - not because it's especially violent or disgusting (it isn't), or not because it's a creepy, scary film (it is), but because it's a movie that's viewed best when given your full attention as opposed to fighting increasingly heavy eyelids.

First, a bit of background information. "A Tale of Two Sisters" is a Korean film, and a pretty damn important one historically speaking. For starters, it's based on a Korean folktale that's pretty well-known to pretty much everyone who saw the film in its original incarnation. As such, it was a highly publicized movie in Korea; it eventually became the highest-grossing horror movie in the country's cinematic history, and also became the first Korean horror film to be screened in American movie houses. As such, it - like a lot of awesome J and K-horror epics - was given the remake treatment. In 2009, to be exact, as "The Uninvited," starring the pretty ugly chick from "Grudge 2" and the upskirt machine from "Sucker Punch." And before anyone asks, no, I haven't seen the remake and have no plans on doing so.

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THE MOVIE!!

As already mentioned (I suppose one could say that it was AFOREMENTIONED), this is a flick that demands your full attention. Generally speaking, movies that exist outside the viewer's natural language require more attention anyway due to the effort of reading dialogue while also keeping track of action, but when you take into account that "A Tale of Two Sisters" is a multi-layered film with varying time frames, character iterations and plot shifts, you're in for a mental workout. In the good way, I assure you.

The film is a tragedy, of sorts, and our central characters are, of course, sisters: Su-mi (Im Soo Jung, in a dynamite performance), and her much more shy and reserved sibling Su-yeon (Moon Geun Young). It revolves around a situation that a great many people can relate to, and wastes little time framing the entire movie around this central premise - the sisters are being brought by their father (Kim Cap-su) to home to meet their new stepmother, Eun-joo (Yeom Jeong-ah, who is infinitely hatable in this role). As it so often happens with the situation, the close siblings aren't too fond of their new family member, and as the story progresses, it becomes clear that the feeling is mutual.

In between a few instances of story aspects that "creepy up" the proceedings (including a few nighttime scenes where Su-yeon sees a strange ghost-like figure standing on her bed), this is mostly a film about the inner workings of this family. The fairy tale aspect of the story is definitely apparent, as Eun-joo becomes every bit the "wicked stepmother" that we know and love from various Disney flicks. Her level of cruelty rivals many domestic villains from other movies; she is particularly nasty and abusive toward Su-yeon, verbally castigating her to no end and locking her in a closet. Throughout these early portions of the film, the struggle between Su-mi and Eun-joo is your central conflict, and we have no reason to believe that the movie is going to be anything other than a story about familial squabbles.

Then one revelation comes. Then another, and another, until "A Tale of Two Sisters" becomes a movie where not only is it made abundantly clear that everything is DEFINITELY not as it seems, but somehow, some way, it all unfolds in a logical manner with several very powerful moments where things become clear. Normally, movies made in this manner leave me inherently frustrated; this one, with its endlessly clever screenplay by director Ji-woon, is satisfying and emotional, with the various twists and turns serving as devices with the power to both shock the viewer and to tug on the heartstrings.

Reading this review, some of you may be wondering why "A Tale of Two Sisters" is considered a horror film. Throughout much of the flick's running time, we aren't given anything in the way of a villain, or killing, or any of the usual staples associated with the genre. It matters little. This is a movie entirely about darkness, tragedy and mood, and all three of those things come together with the skillful direction of Kim Ji-woon to form something that's quite unnerving to watch. Sure, there's the deliberate ways that movies attempt to scare audiences (a creepy musical score, for starters), but there are also plot developments that leave the audience empathizing with the two lead girls like few movies are able to, which makes some of the very real events that happen to them all the more horrific.

Parting words: You know, I don't think that a lot of you need to be told that a lot of the movies that have gained the IHR induction are technically not "good" movies. They may be memorable, or important, even revolting - but they're not "good." "A Tale of Two Sisters," by any criteria, is just a damn good film - the acting is top-notch, the direction and screenwriting by its creator is handled with plenty of reverence, and the endless series of surprises that it springs on the captive audience is always a sight to behold. If you're looking for a break from the usual assortment of American slasher films and ghost stories (not that there's anything wrong with those), give this movie a look-see. It's legitimately one of the all-time greats.

IHR induction #44: "Dressed to Kill" (1980, Brian De Palma)

Time for your humble host to share an opinion that's almost completely gutless, since there's plenty of people who feel the same way and even people who disagree almost universally pitch in that it's not far from being truth - I think that Alfred Hitchcock is the single greatest film director...ever. Sure, there's directors who have made it their prime directive to bring home as much Oscar hardware as possible (not looking at you at all, Darren Aronofsky), while Hitch doesn't have any statues in his cupboard ("Rebecca"'s Best Picture award went to the film's producer), his filmography reads like the history of Hollywood - over six decades, there's just very little that the guy did not do, churning out classic after classic and showing an unprecedented, influential flair for shooting his films along the way. More on that later.

It comes as no surprise, then, that there have been plenty of movies that paid direct and/or indirect tribute to Hitchcock. In fact, there are two gentlemen who owe pretty much their entire career on imitating him, both of whom came to prominence in the early '70s. There's Dario Argento, an Italian film-maker who took the mystery aspect of many of the Hitchcock plots and slathered on previously unseen levels of gore to popularize a style of horror movie known as the giallo thriller. And then there's Brian De Palma, the director of several very popular films in the '70s and '80s that feature camera work and themes which were not slightly underivative of the Master's work.

While films that predate it on his filmography (most notably "Sisters," "Carrie" and "The Fury") have some very familiar cinematography tricks, "Dressed to Kill" was De Palma's full-fledged ode to the man who inspired his career, emulating the visual style as well as plot elements and direct scene references from Hitchcock's films. As both an homage and an original work, it's a dynamite movie, unfortunately not as remembered today as it should be, but still held in high circles by horror fans and film scholars alike as a good scary film and a tribute piece.

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THE MOVIE!!

First things first, this movie has some cast. Angie Dickinson is the first person we see in this film. Or rather, Angie Dickinson's body double slathering her naked body up with soap, setting in motion the Psycho-like theme connecting sex with death that runs throughout the entire movie. Dickinson portrays a bored housewife who serves as this movie's Janet Leigh; she is given loads of screen time in the early goings of the movie, with the script giving us a lurid episode in her daily life. She visits her psychologist Robert Elliott (played by Michael Caine in one of the finest performances of his distinguished career), going into detail about her sexual frustration. The following scenes pay off the angle, as she is stalked by a man in an art gallery and later gropes him in the back seat of a taxi cab.

So how does the first act of the movie comes to a close? She sneaks out of random stranger's apartment in the dead of night, and is summarily slashed the f*** up in the apartment building's elevator. Oh yeah, spoiler alert.

This scene, by the way, is an absolute masterpiece. It's genuinely unexpected, it's graphic, and it's got that indefinable creepy factor added to as high-priced prostitute Liz (Nancy Allen, in a Golden Globe-nominated performance, and looking quite hot in her young days, I must say) finds herself unwittingly tied to the death. During the murder scene, there's this one particular shot that works very well, as Liz almost - again, I say, agonizingly, ALMOST - enters the elevator, while the killer, plastic face and all, stands above the dead body of Dickinson, perched behind the door, ready to strike at Liz. Awesome stuff, and still one of my favorite scenes in all of horrordom.

An important cog in the plot of "Dressed to Kill" arises in the form of Caine's Dr. Elliott, who earlier had received a threatening phone call from a former patient named "Bobbi" who desired a sex change operation. It seems that said patient is now mightily pissed at Elliot, as the good doctor refused to endorse the operation, resulting in a wannabe transgendered individual with a severe murderous streak for the women in Elliott's life, as well as Liz, the witness to his brutal crime in the elevator.

Up until this point, "Dressed to Kill" didn't have many likable characters, but from this point on, we get several. The movie becomes a very high stakes game of cat and mouse between the killer and a small group of people attempting to track him/her down. Liz becomes the star and the focal point of the character development, but the movie's true heart comes in the form of Peter (Keith Gordon), Dickinson's college-aged son who takes it upon himself to track down the murderer. Liz and Peter join forces due to the police predictably being none too believing of the various accusations that this smart-mouthed hooker is making regarding the murder case. Along the way, there's another meeting with the killer in a subway (and that scene, just like the elevator sequence, is absolutely riveting), and eventually, a big finale in Elliott's office where all becomes clear. A finale, I hasten to point out, that features this lovely image...

"Dressed to Kill" is a movie with outstanding directorial and acting work, but my favorite thing about it is the character arc that Nancy Allen's Liz goes through. Years before "Saw" and the like-styled movies made "forced attrition" a genre unto itself, "Dressed to Kill" featured a much more subtle version of the storyline. Throughout much of the movie, Liz is a very unrepentant character, and while we're never given a beat-you-over-the-head conversion scene, the audience leaves the film with a sense of satisfaction, knowing that the incidents - and the close friendship with Peter - have changed her for the better. And the ending scene? Horrific, powerful, and absolutely perfect.

Compared to other movies inducted into the IHR, I have a relatively short history with this particular film. A few years back, I was looking for nothing other than a good time waster on a Friday night while browsing the video store; a few hours later, I had a movie that comes damn close to being on my top ten horror films of all time list. The characters are well-defined and memorable (in addition to all the names mentioned above, there's Dennis Franz doing his trademark foul-mouthed cop role to perfection as the antagonistic investigator who refuses to believe our main characters), but it's the overall experience of viewing "Dressed to Kill" that rings the most true. Visually, it's an absolute feast, but is also disconcerting and disqueting to watch...just like the best Hitchcock movies.