IHR induction #46: "Return of the Living Dead" (1985, Dan O'Bannon)

First things first - everybody already knows how I feel about zombie movies, and I won't torture you with the manifesto again. f***, I'm sick of TYPING it, so God only knows how all of you feel.

Secondly, this flick is YET ANOTHER piece of horror history that I saw for the first time on Joe Bob Briggs' MonsterVision. Man, what an awesome show that was. The Saturday night ritual that introduced me to "Carrie," "Maximum Overdrive," the insanely long director's cut version of "Needful Things," and Oliver Stone's magnum opus "The Hand." And that...is some lineup, I tell ya.

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"Return of the Living Dead" is a pretty highly heralded piece of work in the horror community, holding a lofty ranking in both the zombie and horror comedy subgenres. It's hard to disagree with all of the praise; when compared to sibling movies featuring undead flesh-eaters, the movie is undoubtedly more funny, more entertaining, and even better WRITTEN (thanks largely to an excellent script by Dan O'Bannon, the guy behind "Alien" and "Lifeforce" who also directed this film) than the vast majority of zombie movies out there in the great fruited plain. In addition to that, it's got a soundtrack largely featuring '80s punk rock and death metal that gives it an unmistakable camp/cult appeal, as well as a couple well-known luminaries of the horror genre as cast members.

THE MOVIE!!

It's the first day on the job for Freddy (Thom Matthews, AFOREMENTIONED horror luminary #1, although he wasn't quite a luminary yet as he wouldn't star in "Friday the 13th Part VI" until the following year, so sue me) on the night shift at a medical supplies warehouse. As they often do, Frank (James Karen), one of the higher-ups at the warehouse, attempts to impress the newbie by showing him some hidden secret thing that said building contains. In this case, it's an actual preserved zombie. In one of those insane movie accidents, said preserved zombie drum releases toxic gas on the two bumbling characters, thus setting in motion the plot of "Return of the Living Dead."

Moving along, the gas resurrects one of the corpses held at the warehouse, causing Frank and Freddy to call in their boss, Burt (Clu Gulager, an icon of '70s television). When discussing methods of killing the reanimated body, they theorize that the best way is to destroy the brain because, after all, "it's how they did it in that movie!" Much to their surprise, it doesn't work - along with seemingly everything else. With nowhere else to turn, they decide to cut the body up into small pieces and take it to the friendly local mortician, Ernie (Don Calfa), who decides to dispose of the remains by putting them in his cremation device. Well, wouldn't you know, the smoke causes an acid rain storm that has a decidedly nasty effect on the bodies buried in the nearby graveyard...

Periodically throughout these introductory segments, we've been shown glimpses of the everyday life of a group of very punkish looking kids. Presently, these guys are hanging out in the cemetery, where the group's token sluttish girl Trash (played by Linnea Quigley, and if you don't know who she is...what's wrong with you??!) tells us about her nightmares involving getting eaten by wrinkley old men before stripping naked and dancing among the gravestones. It's just as epic seeing it in person, believe me. As per expected, this is the point that the ROTLD brand of zombies make their resurrection, immediately killing Trash and scaring the holy hell out of the remaining street punks, who make their way across the street to the mortuary.

Just before the kids arrive, Ernie decides to call an ambulance for Freddy and Frank, both of whom are beginning to exhibit some decidedly strange traits due to their exposure to the drum's chemical. When the paramedics arrive, what they find is quite unnerving - both men have no pulse, no vital signs. By all accounts, they are dead. The paramedics go out to their ambulance to grab some supplies, only to be ambushed by the zombie army and killed. One of the zombies grabs the ambulance radio and informs whoever is on the other line to "send more paramedics."

This would be your classic "survivors holed in against the undead" portion that almost every zombie movie proudly features, and I must admit that this is the section of the film that truly shines and creates a unique atmosphere that holds true for the remainder of the running time. Mixing genuine tension with the black comedy that the movie had been employing sporadically, the movie becomes hard to turn away from. What's more, it's even a little sad, as Freddy's girlfriend Tina (Beverly Randolph) comes into the fold. How dedicated of a girlfriend is she? This chick actually lets her zombified boyfriend eat her brain, due only to the fact that he was nice enough to ask. Now that is some girlfriend.

I'm really not doing the movie justice with this review - it's true glory lies in a lot of the mannerisms of the characters, as well as the true dark nature of its humor. Both of which, along with many other things, are extremely entertaining in abundance here. This is one of the most downright FUN horror movies you'll ever see, featuring a cast of actors who truly give it their damndest (particularly Karen, who was nominated for a Saturn award for his portrayal of Frank) along with inspired writing and directing work from O'Bannon. As one of horror's great ones who had previously been the creative guy behind some very big movies, "Return of the Living Dead" was Dan O'Bannon's first shot at directing a feature film, and he made the most of the opportunity. His surprising touch for writing not only good horror but good comedy is the driving force that makes this movie infinitely memorable, and he is definitely missed in the great, grand genre of horror. At any rate, he's definitely created a bona fide modern classic which all of you need to check out (if you haven't already).

Final word - as much as I enjoy this film, I actually prefer the sequel, "Return of the Living Dead Part II," which ratchets up the humor aspect to the point of being damn near parody. However, seemingly everyone else on the planet disagrees with me on this ranking, hence why this movie is inducted here today.