Pass the fish n' chips, it's "From Beyond the Grave"

Here's one style of horror flick in desperate need of a comeback. Anthology horror films used to be a fairly commonplace thing; during the '60s and '70s, the landscape was dotted with these little gems that contained several smaller stories within the framework of a larger one. Many of them came from Amicus Productions, the British studio responsible for this particular movie. And one of them - the 1972 film entitled "Tales From the Crypt" (no relation to the legendary TV series) - is an undisputed (in my own mind, anyway) classic, containing one segment where a widower wishes her undead husband back to life, not knowing that he'll come back to life f**king AS IS. Namely, dilapidated, decaying, and burning like hell from the formaldehyde. Money.

At any rate, "From Beyond the Grave" is definitely one of the better anthology horror movies to come down the pike. It may not be quite up to horror hall of fame status that the likes of "Creepshow" and "Tales From the Darkside" occupy, but it's definitely up there with the second wave ("Trick r Treat" from a couple years also fits this bill). For star power, it's also got three crusty dudes that are well known to fellow miscriants like myself who follow stuffy British horror films. More on that later.

Ladies and gentlemen, crusty dude British horror film luminary #1 - Peter Cushing, a.k.a. Grand Moff Tarkin from "Star Wars." Way back before Hugh Jackman was guest hosting Monday Night Raw and/or being the most Australian Australian guy since Paul Hogan, this guy was laying the smack down on Christopher Lee and roughing up countless hot women in a manner most awesome in several of the awesome Hammer studios Dracula and Frankenstein films. In this film, he's your star player in the movie's "framework" story that holds the rest of the movie together.

Yup, in this movie, Tarkin plays the proprietor of an antique shop. Each mini-story begins with a morally suspect character purchasing, stealing, or swindling something from the shop only to get their theoretical just desserts in the end. In between the segments, a shady character seems to be casing the establishment, which leads us to one jim dandy of an ending sequence. No spoiler alerts needed here - watch it for yourself and be surprised, dammit.

SEGMENT ONE - "The Gatecrasher"
Meet crusty dude British horror film luminary #2 - David Warner, perhaps best known as the gun-wielding assassin/thorn in Leo's side from "Titanic." Back in the day, he was a big time horror movie vet and had a major role in the original (read: good) "Omen" film. In this flick, he's a socialite of sorts who convinces Cushing that an antique mirror in his shop is a reproduction, and thus gets it for a much cheaper price. After taking it home, he performs a makeshift seance to impress his friends...and winds up with a devil/ghost friend who promptly orders him to bring fresh bodies home to feed on. As in, their "BLOOOOODDDDD!" (spelled because this is how the specter says the word) This segment is really creepy and effective, with a decent payoff and a great performance, as usual, from Warner. It may even be up to par with his effort in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze."

SEGMENT TWO - "An Act of Kindness"
Ahhhh, here we go. Definitely the strongest chapter of this particular go-round. I REALLY felt for the main character in this one - a civil service manager named Christopher (Ian Bannen) who is weighed down by his shrew of a wife and his son, neither of whom respect him. While carousing the street, he meets fellow soldier Jim Underwood (played by crusty dude British horror film luminary #3 Donald Pleasence, who would later go on to star as the single greatest Van Helsing character since Van Helsing himself Peter Cushing in the "Halloween" series), and in an effort to impress his new friend steals a service medal from Cushing's shop. Underwood takes Christopher home to meet his daughter Emily (Angela Pleasence, amazingly enough Donald's real life-daughter and also a luminary of horror films, although not quite up to snuff with her father and Warner). Pretty much every male who watches this segment, despite Christopher's theft of the medal, has a strong reaction to this aspect of the segment, as in stark contrast to Christopher's conniving, critical wife, Emily dotes on him hand and foot and we find ourselves strangely rooting for Christopher. The ending of this story is an absolute masterpiece on so many levels - it's emotionally heartbreaking, genuinely scary, ironic, and marvelously laid out.

SEGMENT THREE - "The Elemental"
From here, the movie drops by a peg, although not by much. Reggie Warren (Ian Carmichael) goes into the shop and switches price tags on an expensive snuff box. While on the train ride home, a strange psychic woman (Margaret Leighton) informs Reggie that he has an "elemental" (old-school/new-age term for devil/demon) infecting his shoulder. Thinking nothing of it, he returns home to his wife (Nyree Dawn Porter). Acting ever-so-promptly, the unseen elemental goes to work tormenting the holy hell out of the family dog and choking the holy hell out of Mrs. Warren. This results in the segment's climactic seance/exorcism scene, and a perfectly telegraphed ending swerve. Not as strong as the first two segments, but well-played by Carmichael and Porter, and features some good (for the time) visual effects.

SEGMENT FOUR - "The Door"
A solid if unspectacular ending to the preceding segments. A writer (Ian Ogilvy - man, what is it with the British and the name Ian? There's THREE freakin' Ians in this movie!!) manages to purchase an ornate door at the Cursed Antique shop (TM). During this scene, Cushing leaves the till open, and after the purchase, he begins counting his money. Of course, any student of horror movies knows that said door must also be a gateway to hell, and you wouldn't be far off. After taking the door home to his wife (Lesley-Anne Down), he finds a strange world that exists beyond the door as well as the writings of an evil occultist who designed the door as a means to capture souls and live forever. During the course of the film, the strange hypnotic power of the door seems to spread, resulting in a final sequence in which the occultist holds the wife hostage in the otherworld. This one is notable for a neat ending twist in relation to the means by which Ogilvy purchased the door. Well-acted, but not especially scary.

As is the case with a lot of Amicus productions, there's a lot to admire in this flick. '70s horror is a completely different animal from pretty much every decade that came before or after it. The tone is VERY dark, and rare is the occasion in many '70s horror films (especially the religious-themed ones and British films) when a single hero character makes it out of the occurrences alive. In that respect, these stories all take on the E.C. Horror Comics morality tale approach to horror. Be a good person or else bad things will happen to you. A tried and true formula, and when used well (as it is here), it generally works. Director Kevin Connor does an excellent job with the atmosphere of the film, working in the trademark darkness and color contrast that defined '70s horror and getting the most out of his cheeseburger and fries budget (that makes fast food budget reference #3 in the last three weeks, so hooray for me).

Of course, this movie is worth seeing just for the names alone. Pleasence, Warner and Cushing are all legends in the storied history of the British horror film, with Pleasence being right up there on the Mount Rushmore of horror hero characters for his portrayal of Dr. Loomis in "Halloween." All are in top form here, and really, that's all the persuasion you need to give this movie a look-see. Definitely not perfect (as AFOREMENTIONED, the third segment isn't terribly interesting and is quite predictable while the fourth drags a bit), but the good definitely outweighs the bad. And the second segment with the father-and-daughter Pleasence duo and that ungodly wedding sequence? Legendary.

*** 1/2 out of ****. Highly recommended if you're a horror fan and/or have a short attention span and want shorter stories to keep track of, mildly recommended for the general public.

"Eyes of a Stranger" - a serial killer/sex pervert slasher film that WORKS, dammit!

You know, when popping this DVD in, I wasn't expecting much. The summary - a guy goes around killing and molesting women - sounded like a good way to kill a couple hours without paying too much attention to what was going on. Imagine my surprise when the flick turned out to be good. Indeed, "Eyes of a Stranger" is one of the true unappreciated gems of the early '80s slasher boom period. It's not purely a slice-n-dice gore flick, and it's not an out-and-out serial killer creepfest, it's some sort of bizarre meld of the two that works really well and somehow comes across as being realistic to boot. At least as realistic as a film about a lascivious dude who calls women on the phone before groping and killing them can be.

This movie is notable for one other thing - it's the only DVD I've seen whose sole selling point is the fact that JENNIFER JASON LEIGH (capitalized because it's mentioned no less than three times in the official back-of-the-box summary) is in it. Yup, the indie movie goddess who appears nude in countless arthouse flicks is in this movie, and according to the ever-accurate Wikipedia, it was her first film role. Who am I to doubt Wikipedia? It's a high-flyer of the highest order. Having seen Ms. Leigh in a grand total of two film roles ("Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and "eXistenZ") and familiar with her reputation as a dedicated "method" actor, I've got to say that she does a damn good job with this movie as a very unorthodox slasher heroine. More on that later. But, hell, everybody does. This one's got a very different feel from a lot of the crap that I review, so get ready for scatterbrained theater.

This is yet another movie that wastes little time getting right to the point, but when you're an early '80s kinda-sorta slasher film with the budget of a Filet-o-Fish, I suppose there isn't much time to waste. A mad serial killer is on the loose in Miami, with the AFOREMENTIONED M.O. of calling his attractive female victims before the typical sexual assault/murder coup de grace. We immediately meet prominent local reporter Jane Harris (Lauren Tewes, who is excellent as a very likable non-teen, non-horny heroine). Jane is in charge of her little sister Tracy (ol' blue eyes herself Jennifer Jason), a perfectly normal teenage girl with the one tiny exception of being both deaf and blind.

On a couple occasions throughout the movie, we're given some vague semblance of a clue as to just why Tracy has lost all auditory and optical functions. These flashbacks either aren't fleshed out very well or they're intentionally left mysterious; something about Jane driving Tracy to school during their school days, leading to the little girl version of Tracy being abducted and thus traumatized into her condition. It plays out a lot better on film than the convoluted way I put it, believe me.

Anyway, the cute blonde above is your star victim of the movie - our first money sequence and our introduction to the psycho-killer. In a long, drawn-out and quite tense sequence, she is called, stalked, and terrified into calling her boyfriend over to her apartment. Eventually, we meet the killer, wearing a mask that looks eerily similar to Terry Funk's Chainsaw Charlie getup and brandishing a massive knife. After decapitating the boyfriend (spoiler alert), he really has some fun with the blonde, ripping off her blouse and fondling her massive breasts in an absolute masterpiece of a scene. Cinematic genius, even. All kidding aside, it's an admittedly hokey but far more realistic in tone approach to the slasher films that peppered the landscape at the time, and a pretty damn good way to kick off the horror aspect of this flick.

The majority of the screen time in this flick is given to Tewes' Jane character, which works out very well. Being familiar with her only for "The Love Boat," it's quite interesting to see that long-running series' Cruise Director in a very different type of role, and she seems up to the task. She is infinitely likable as a reporter who desperately wants the serial killer brought to justice, and is even given some solid emotional depth in the form of her guilt for Tracy's condition.

Roughly halfway through the film, a few coincidences occur in the parking ramp of Jane's apartment building where she becomes convinced that someone who lives in her adjoining building is the killer. This being a serial killer film, her instincts are of course correct. There's some fascinating stuff where Jane attempts to convince her oblivious boyfriend of the guilt of the creepy staring guy across the street that serves to pad out the length of the film masterfully, along with another murder scene where our lust killer indulges in some more fantasy. Of course, this is a big positive, because the special effects work on this film is done by this man.

Yup, I had no clue what to expect from this movie that I'd never heard of in my life before popping it in, but upon seeing "Makeup effects by Tom Savini" in the opening credits immediately knew I was in for a treat. For the uninitiated, Tom Savini is THE guy when it comes to horror movie makeup/gore work. If you're like me and you prefer a halfway decent practical effect to hokey CGI, Savini is God. His stuff looks like it actually might be real, as opposed to just looking like computer graphics, and his effects work on films such as "Dawn of the Dead" (O.G. 1978 version), "Friday the 13th" and "The Burning" is legendary. There aren't as many big set pieces here, but the murders in this flick are all memorable. That opening bit featuring the blonde with big tits? Lovingly recreated decapitation complete with a shot of the head in a fish tank. Greatness.

As Jane enters the Nancy Drew investigative reporter mode, the killer becomes wise and begins targeting the comely anchorwoman - as well as her comely blind-and-deaf sister. I should also point out that he deduces this mystery after Jane CALLS him at home to tell him that she "knows what he's up to," and not soon afterward said killer hears Jane on the news and easily figures out that the person who just called is the angelic-voiced woman on TV. D'oh!

Of course, I should also mention that John DiSanti, the man charged with playing the serial killer, does an absolutely fantastic job. I haven't seen this guy in any other films, but he's pitch perfect as a serial killer. For students of multiple murder lore, it's common knowledge that they're not the spectral boogeymen that they're portrayed to be in Hollywood films; they're often sniveling, cowardly men, and DiSanti fits this role to a tee. This guy is slimy, sleazy, and just downright evil, and the ending of this movie works perfectly due to our genuine dislike for him.

The final act of the film is the perfectly telegraphed but still thrilling battle of wits between DiSanti (who goes by the name Stanley Herbert in the movie - is there a more perfect name for a sadistic lust murderer?) and Leigh, who finds herself alone in the apartment with the psycho. And yeah, we get nipple shots from the barely legal Leigh in the process. Both actors do a fantastic job in this sequence; DiSanti looks like he utterly enjoys tormenting and assaulting the helpless impaired girl, while Leigh somehow manages to be convincing in managing to fight back against her attacker.

It's also very nice to see an '80s slasher film that doesn't have an open ending. Oh yeah, another spoiler alert.

After watching the film and doing a little bit of research into it, I was a little surprised to find out that this film comes from the same production company that helmed the early "Friday the 13th" films. One of the writers, Ron Kurz, would later write "Friday the 13th Part II" and effectively be the first man to write Jason Voorhees, psychotic killer as the main villain of a horror film. "Eyes of a Stranger" has a very different feel from the F13 series; for starters, director Ken Wiederhorn gives this movie a more polished appearance, no doubt the result of the 18 gazillion dollars that the original "Friday" flick had pulled in the prior year ("Eyes of a Stranger" was released in 1981, while F13 graced us with its presence in 1980).

Apart from the surface differences, though, the tone is different. As opposed to "the Pepsi generation gets mutilated" (Sean Cunningham's words to describe "Friday"), this is a much more adult-friendly flick, a mid-30s heroine and some solid melodrama written in to the usual lean horror movie plot to go along with the teenage-focused horror movie staples of gratuitous nudity and elaborate death scenes. As a result, it may not be quite the horror movie lynchpin that "Friday the 13th" is, but it's almost as good, and certainly worthy of much more than the "in and out of theaters in two weeks" treatment it received back in 1981.

*** 1/2 out of ****, highly recommended for slasher movie fans like myself and midly recommended for film fans at large.

Wes Craven's "Deadly Friend" - a tender saga of robots and vengeful basketballs

When thinking about some of the biggest colossal flubs in movie history, Wes Craven's "Deadly Friend" has to be near the top of the list. It gets trashed in pretty much every circle of the horror community, but I'm not sure that it's entirely deserving of the criticism. Having said that, yes, the concept is pretty out there. It was doomed at the box office the second that Craven decided to make a movie about a college-age robotics genius who resurrects his dead girlfriend utilizing a high-tech computer chip. Yes, folks, that's what this movie is about. This thing could have been the second coming of Carpenter's "Halloween" when it came to scripting and execution and failed with that premise.

Even better, this film is based on a NOVEL. Now, I haven't read said tome (and I'm far too lazy to look it up on Wikipedia), but it amazes me that Wes Craven chose this source material at this particular point in his career. He'd had successes in the past before this flick's 1986 release year; 1974's "Last House on the Left" was an exploitation film that somehow, some way became a mainstream smash, while 1980's "Swamp Thing" was a minor hit at the box office. Of course, in 1984, a little movie called "Nightmare on Elm Street" came out featuring a certain scarred dream stalker that effectively made Craven rich enough to buy his own solid gold island. So, two years later, with one sequel in the can and another soon to be made in the creation that would make him a veritable horror God...Craven gives us girl next door robo killer. The hell?

Having said all that, this is another flick that holds a great deal of nostalgic value for yours truly. It's one of the many, many films that was introduced to me via the Most Awesome Video Store Ever, so bonus points for that. Hell, it may have been the first movie that I remember renting on some long ago Saturday night. Back then, the flick scared the crap out of me, and after watching it for the first time in over twenty years, there's still some disturbing elements. The concept of corpse reanimation is always something that has frightened me, so regardless of how botched a movie with this theme is (and this is most certainly horrifically botched), it's not something I'll forget anytime soon.

Our star character is Paul Conway, the second kid from the left in the above picture (handy, huh?). He's played by Matthew Laborteaux, and considering some of the material that he has to work with, does a more than commendable job. Paul and his mother (Anne Twomey) have just moved to a new city due to Paul's burgeoning life aspirations. Namely, this kid is a friggin' science genius. See that robot in the above picture? That's his creation.

The robot, named BB (voiced by Charles "Roger Rabbit" Fleischer), is quite the impressive little number. Usually, in horror movies we're given a budget of a #5 McDonald's value meal, but this movie makes the most of its limited means, and BB is a pretty movable, talkable, learnable little tyke. And yes, I'm well aware that I invented two words in that previous sentence, so don't point it out. Paul's specialty is artificial intelligence, meaning that not only can BB assist in combat with the neighborhood toughs and help out with the household chores, he can learn.

Moving swimmingly along, Paul quickly makes two friends in his new neighborhood. Movie best friend "Tom" literally falls into the movie (seriously, the guy tips over on his bike into frame, and that's how Paul meets him - brilliant scripting, I tell ya). Meanwhile, his new neighbor is Samantha Pringle (Kristy Swanson, later known for her role as Buffy the Vampire Slayer), blonde hottie with an abusive father (Richard Marcus - and man what a phlegmy scream this guy has). The early portions of the movie give us the saccharine romance between Paul and Samantha, as well as the tug of war that goes on between the poor girl and her dickhead dad. There's also some nice "kids being kids" moments, such as the Halloween prank gone awry when our trio of oh-so-likable teens try to invade the house of the neighborhood witch (played by Anne Ramsey, and man, she is awesome in every "old c***" role she's had). The result? BB in a heap after being blown to bits by a shotgun.

Soon enough, tragedy strikes. After exchanging their first kiss, Samantha goes home to douchebag father, who promptly slaps her so hard that she falls down the stairs and breaks her neck...and then summarily gets off scott free with the authorities. Paul's answer? Recruit Tom as help, then go and steal Samantha's comatose body and bring her back home, at which point he inserts BB's old circuitry into her higher brain functions and reanimates her.
That picture above is Samantha/Kristy Swanson in her "robotic form," complete with oh-so-creepy vacant stare. To make it even more classic, she's also required to walk around for the remainder of the film in a very stilted, automatic motion, all the while grabbing things with a hand motion that is meant to look like BB's "claw grip" hand, but looks more like she's attempting to impersonate the "live long and prosper" Star Trek slogan. If you want some unintentional comedic gold, this movie's got a boatload of it.

The movie is fairly predictable from here on. In a way, this film is very similar to the Universal classic "Bride of Frankenstein," in which a genius inventor revives a dead woman, and discovers far too late that it's not right to tamper in God's domain, or something. Initially, Samantha appears to remember nothing of her previous life, but her old personality begins to shine through more and more when she sees her father skulking around with a big smarmy smile on his face. That's actually one aspect of this movie that works really well; you REALLY want this tool to get what he deserves, and when it happens, it's a stand up and cheer moment. It's also got a gory-as-f**k additional murder that comes completely out of left field and really works well.

Eventually, Samantha/BB becomes a raging kill-crazy hellbitch, leading to the thrilling conclusion. And by thrilling I mean not thrilling in the least. For some more unintentional comedy, we get an amazing scene where Kristy Swanson dives through a window (arms outstretched like Superman, no less) and tackles hapless Tom, before our oh-so-tender-and-tragic initial ending sequence. If you've seen a horror movie from the '80s, you know that one ending is never enough, so this immediately leads us to the SECOND ending, which is just rock stupid, makes no sense, and effectively euthanizes the movie in the most efficient manner imaginable.

Kristy doing her best Spock impersonation. It's so much more glorious in full motion, believe me.

To be sure, "Deadly Friend" is quite the train wreck. It effectively falls apart in the second half with one nonsensical thing after another happening peppered in between a couple very memorable kill scenes. How memorable? Type "Deadly Friend basketball" into Youtube and get ready to be wowed. The character of Paul goes from barely likable in the beginning of the movie to barely a character in the second half, trying to cover up all of his robotic girlfriend's crimes against the oblivious cops who can't seem to figure out that, holy hell, the guy that just ate the business end of a hot furnace just recently had his daughter's body disappear from the hospital, which might just have something to do with this horrific crime. This is one of those movies that requires some MAJOR suspension of disbelief. Right up there with "The Dark Knight," even.

Looking in between all of that, there are actually some things to commend in this movie. Swanson, for all the crap that she is asked to do, actually puts in a worthwhile performance, as does Richard Marcus as her interminable father and Ramsey as the old bat neighbor. The basketball sequence is nothing short of amazing (for bad reasons as well as good - if you watch this movie in a crowd setting, that scene is sure to be a howling laugh fest). It's slick, it has good production values, and it manages to not get TOO cheesy considering the source material and story that was used. For that, Craven has to be commended for getting the slightest amount of emotion and resonance out of this film.

** out of ****, with an extra 1/2* being tacked on for nostalgia purposes.

Horror Nerd REVIEW BONUS!! Ladies and gentlemen, "Phantasm"!!!

Well, here we go - the movie that I've waited damn near twenty years to see.

I can vividly remember the first time that I saw the box art for "Phantasm." The year was 1992. At that time, there were no fewer than four video huts in Horror Nerd Land (codename for the small town that Jon Lickness calls home). One of them was located inside a shopping mall, and...it...was...awesome. Whereas most video stores (then and now) feature actual VHS tapes/DVD's lining the shelves, this place had an insanely deep library of material that made this long practice impossible. No sir - you had to take a small 3 x 5 tag adorned with a miniature copy of the video cover up to the counter, and said counter monkey got your movie for you, no doubt traversing to some mystical gigantic VHS storehouse located deep within the bowels of said shopping mall in the process. At least that was the scene that played out in my childhood self's mind.

Well, in this video store, the nine-year-old and infinitely more agreeable Horror Nerd wandered the aisles, perusing the action section (which included two full rows of NINJA MOVIES - the awesomeness), getting bored, and eventually winding up at the endlessly terrifying but no doubt fascinating area of the store that had just recently captured his imagination. The old-school horror aisle. Even better, the early '90s was a magical time to be at this age and to be into scary flicks. The "Friday the 13th" and "Nightmare on Elm Street" flicks were still fresh on everyone's mind, and the Chucky films were getting regular airplay on TV. Sandwiched in between all those luminaries was a big, menacing guy standing in front of a giant ball [/sexual connotation], surrounded by holy hell creepy imagery and other assorted stuff designed to make children sprint home and curl up into the fetal position.

A long time passed. After the Most Awesome Video Store Ever closed its doors, none of the other fine video rental establishments in Everytown, Minnesota carried the damn thing. I kept waiting for the film to show up on TNT MonsterVision during my embarrassing (don't ask - it's painful) formative years. No luck. As the years went by and the semi-legendary treasure trove of horror goodies ballooned to Brobdingnagian proportions, for some reason or another, other things kept occupying my time and money. First slasher flicks. Then J-horror. Then Dario Argento. Then Hammer films. Then more J-horror.

Well, the seven stars have aligned and the crystal chalice has been placed at the altar of worship. Or something. So - ARE YOU READY FOR "PHANTASM"??!? This guy is. So - the million dollar question. Does it live up to the hype?

The short answer is yes, and then some. I'd heard quite a bit about "Phantasm" before watching it. It's one of the de facto bastions of geek culture, with the term 'cult classic' being slung its way in pretty much every arena that I've ever seen it discussed. It lives up to that billing. Is it a great high art film? No. Is it a really fun flick? Absolutely. There's nothing quite like "Phantasm" in the approximately 95,000 other horror films that have come my way over the years.

First of all, the protagonists. This is a movie that wastes little time getting its story (and I use that word in the absolute loosest definition) going. Our main character is Michael (A. Michael Baldwin) - plucky early teenager who has just had one of his close friends die under mysterious circumstances (namely while in mid-coitus, at which point the girl that he's banging turns into the creepy-looking guy seen in the above photo for a split second before he immediately turns up dead - did I say that this is some movie?). There's a decent emotional factor to the character of Mike, as both of the poor kid's parents have also died, leaving him under the care of his older brother Jody (Bill Thornbury).

And Jody - oh, Jody. Jody is a cool dude. Like, really cool dude. Really 1979 cool dude as seen through the eyes of Don Coscarelli, the guy who wrote and directed this movie. He plays guitar, he plays bitchin' songs, he wears cool threads, he curses like a sailor, and he likes to pick up girls at bars and bring them out to the creepy graveyard for middle of the night boinking sessions. All true, and all presented to us to see in glorious hi-res action.

Anyway, 24-year-old Jody forbids his younger brother to attend the funeral of Inconsequential Friend...but since he's a rambunctious movie kid, he disobeys the rules laid down by his groovy sibling and watches the proceedings through binoculars. Among the things he sees? The Tall Man (AFOREMENTIONED creepy guy in picture/main villain of the film) horking up the casket by himself and lugging it into a hearse.

As we enter the "analysis" portion of this review, first things first - if you like your horror movies to make sense, you'll be disappointed with this movie. "Phantasm" doesn't make a lick of sense, at least in the context of what I've seen. Supposedly, the three sequels make the proceedings in this introductory chapter more clear, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. At times, this movie reminded me a lot of Dario Argento's classic "Suspiria" - it's less about its story then it is about its atmosphere, but while that film was all about oppression, this movie is about darkness.

That's not to say that the movie has no plot. The middle and ending portions of this film focus on the dynamic between Jody and Michael as strange hallucinations involving the Tall Man and strange, mystical flying orbs begin haunting his every waking moment. Both actors do a great job with their respective parts, especially Baldwin as Michael. Having seen other horror movies with younger teens/children as a primary protagonist, I fully expected this kid to be wholly grating. To my surprise, he wasn't - in fact, he's pretty damn likable, and as he goes through the pains of getting his sensible brother to believe him when he says that the Tall Man is some sort of mystical helldemon with holy killing prowess, the audience is very much in his corner. Five gold stars for A. Michael Baldwin - you now rank just behind C. Thomas Howell in my "favorite actor with a letter for a first name" rolodex.

What's also quite unique about this movie is its mishmash of various film styles. There's horror, obviously, with its menacing villain and fine assortment of gore scenes. There's adventure, as the brothers make an endless series of trips to and from the Tall Man's lair, attempting to make out (and say the line, no less) what the hell is going on, all the while getting attacked by the acting-of-their-own-accord stabbing spheres and dealing with a veritable army of dwarven hooded henchmen. There's sci-fi...for pretty much all of the reasons described in the previous sentence. There's even some action sprinkled in, as our cool heroes engage in an honest-to-christ car chase sequence complete with shotgun blasts and explosions. Yup.

The final link on the chain of awesomeness (groan...even I know that's bad) is the guy that I've mentioned several times already - the Tall Man himself. He's played by a gentlemen named Angus Scrimm, who lends an ungodly, unnerving presence to the character somehow connected to the random deaths and supernatural hooligans going on in Phantasm. He's a little reminiscent of the way Freddy Krueger is portrayed in the original "Nightmare on Elm Street" film - he's a man of few words, but when he chooses to speak, he makes it count. Trust me, this dude will turn up in your thoughts at some inopportune times. Definitely right up there with Jason, Freddy, Kayako and some of the other great villainous horror movie icons.

*takes long breath, then exhales*

So here we are, right back where we began. Nineteen years from the date that I first saw and effectively heard of a little movie called "Phantasm" released back in 1979, and now it's a permanent part of my memory. It was well worth the wait. While Jody and Michael each say the phrase "What the hell is going on here?" approximately 17,689 times throughout the flick's running time, it's completely justified. First time viewers WILL spend their time watching this movie completely dumbfounded as to just what the hell is going on here. Even better, the ending doesn't do much to make things clearer. No matter. There's cool-ass good guys, badass bad guys, blood, guts, s**ts and giggles, and everything you could ever want rolled up in between.

**** out of ****, and my highest recommendation for horror fans everywhere.