IHR induction #39: "The Serpent and the Rainbow" (1987, Wes Craven)

Well, fellow horror nerds, we're living in a time when the zombie movie is...quite prevalent. Those who know me on a few message boards are likely sick of hearing me harp on this subject, but zombie movies...ugh. Some of them are very good; many of them are just very monotonous, and seem utterly constricted not only by a very stringent set of rules and regulations (think slasher movies with more flesh-eating), but in the way they go about telling the story. Granted, I'm not the foremost authority on zombie films, but when it comes to the ones that people have seen in the last 20 years or so, they fit into one of two categories:

(1) Overtly political hamfest where human beings < zombies on the morality barometer, or;

(2) Out-and-out cheesefest, which may or may not be parody.

Wes Craven' 1987 film "The Serpent and the Rainbow" is a movie that few people remember; it was in and out of theaters in the time it takes to drive to a fast-food restaurant, and didn't do much business in the rental market. It was also released during one of horror's severe down times; slasher movies had died a slow, painful death, and while Freddy Krueger was riding strong, Jason Voorhees was seeing steadily declining return. 23 years later, however, and viewed without the prism of trend, this movie is just amazing on so many levels. In the humble opinion of this reporter, it's one of the SCARIEST movies of all time, bar none, and has a few well-written characters played by accomplished actors. To this day, this remains Craven's best movie by a country mile (yep, way better than "Nightmare," "Scream," "Red Eye" and even "Deadly Friend").

THE MOVIE!!

The film is based on a book of the same name by Wade Davis, but to say that the film is freely adapted is one of the most liberal adaptations of this phrase ever put to celluloid. Anyway, what the flick gives us is your basic treasure hunting setup. Your main character is Dennis Alan (played by Bill Pullman, who invests tons of heart and soul into the character), an anthropologist hired by a humongo pharmaceutical corporation to retrieve a precious voodoo drug from Haiti. Since "Serpent and the Rainbow" runs a robust 90 minutes, it wastes little time getting to the meat of the story (man, I love that phrase).

The middle act of "Serpent and the Rainbow" is made up largely of passages where Pullman gets to know the lay of the land, both political and spiritual. Haiti is in the midst of a vast revolution against its totalitarian government, which is represented in the film by the quite terrifying figure Captain Dargent Peytraud (Zakes Mokae, absolutely aces in this role). Seeing as how Peytraud is staunchly militaristic, the background of revolution only makes him more ill-tempered, providing the movie with some of its best scenes as the Captain grows none too enamored with this overzealous Westerner discovering the secrets of the island.

A few words on those secrets. For any uninitiated souls out there, the term "zombie" actually has its roots in Haitian voodoo; rather than being undead brain eaters, real-life zombies (and there have been several documented cases for anyone willing to look) are corpses that have been reanimated by the force of external drugs. These stories were talked about with much fear in the days of slavery; slaves looked forward to death, as it meant an end to their misery, but indeed some could not escape servitude even in death. Haitian zombies, in essence had no will or personality of their own other than their master's. In the world of this film, Haitian voodoo is the mechanism that Captain Peytraud and the government uses to keep the people of the island in fear.

During the course of the film, Pullman meets up with a witch doctor named Mozart (Brent Jennings), even witnessing the death of a local woman in the film's first act (and by the way, there are two nightmare sequences that revolve around this very woman that are two of the movie's most effective and horrifying scenes - that snake to the head is vicious). After the mandatory run-ins with Peytraud, Pullman goes back to Mozart, and the duo begin their final experiments creating the perfect zombie drug for mass production.

Many critics view the final act of this film as a let-down after the very story and character-heavy initial two-thirds. Personally, I believe "Serpent and the Rainbow" to be one of the very best-executed horror thrillers of all time; it spends just the right amount of time making its plot and people seem important. Thus, when all hell breaks loose, there's a genuine emotional investment in the outcome. Not to mention that we are also privy to two of the single most painful and/or scary scenes in film history in the form of torturous acts that Peytraud takes against Pullman. But I'll leave those up to the viewer to discover.

Finally, in addition, this is yet another movie that was introduced to me on TNT's MonsterVision, and that was one Saturday night where sleep didn't come easy. I'd seen Romero's lurching, rotting zombies many times before; I'd never seen anything quite like the world that Wes Craven presented in this film, where undead human beings were a result of religious practice and a brutal dictatorship was just as much of a threat as bitchy humans barricading themselves against hordes of brain-hungry ghouls. It was due to this film that I did more reading up on the subjects of zombification and voodoo, and I'd highly recommend that any horror fan out there OD'd on the Dawn-Shaun's of the world should do the same. Trust me - hearing some of the stories that have come down the pike from Haiti throughout the years is instant nightmare fuel, even for the most jaded horror fan. This movie will conjure up curiosity in yo9ur mind to seek out that very fuel. You have been warned.

IHR induction #38: "Creepshow" (1982, George A. Romero)

Firstly, unless you've been living under a rock for the past week, Leslie Nielsen has crossed over into the great hereafter...and, indeed, I didn't even know he was sick. While this reporter remembers him first and foremost for "Naked Gun 33 1/3" and its immortal "Like a blind man in an orgy, I was going to have to feel things out" line, the movie getting inducted in this round is a close second on my all-time Nielsen barometer. So Godspeed, Leslie - you will be remembered for a VAST array of immortal celluloid.

Secondly, "Creepshow" the feature film is definitely one of the most entertaining, funny, and downright unique horror movies that you'll ever see. Younger Horror Nerd readers out there might be under the impression that the HBO series "Tales From the Crypt" was the first creation in mass media to pay unabashed tribute to the bygone 1950s E.C. horror comics; wrong-'em, boyo. There's also a 1974 British film called "Tales From the Crypt" as well as several anthology movies throughout the '70s to prove you wrong, as well as this - the best horror anthology film of all time, period.

It certainly helps when you've got the talent that this flick has behind the camera. George Romero, a director who I'm no fan of (while the rest of the internet horror community waxes rhapsodic about the "Living Dead" movies, I've always been severely underwhelmed by them) but who no doubt has a unique voice and visual flair, is your captain, while Stephen King is the creative energy, penning the screenplay and even playing a major acting role for the first (and only) time in his long, storied career. Add in a few well-placed and well-played character actors, some very interesting camera tricks employed by Romero to simulate the "comic book" theme, and two candidates for "Best 'Tales From the Crypt' story not seen on the TV show," and you've got the recipe for one of my childhood favorite movies.

Before I get the hell going already with the brief synopsis portion of the review, a few words on horror anthologies in general - in short, they're awesome, and we need more of them. While 90-120 minute horror tales that spend time developing victim characters and delving into villainous back stories are all well and good, sometimes, I just want the flash fiction version of horror - give me some admittedly dumb and overplayed characters, an unapologetic basic plot, and an unfair/ironic/morality tale ending played out over a 20-minute timeframe. Repeat the formula five times, and I'm good to go. It's a formula that has worked for many different movies, not only in '70s films like "The House that Dripped Blood" and "The Vault of Fear" but in the vastly underrated "Tales From the Hood" and in the 2008 minor masterpiece "Trick 'R Treat." So take heed, horror directors of tomorrow; we need a good 5-6 story opus every few years.

I suppose the introduction is long and indulgent enough now.

THE MOVIE!!

Most horror anthology movies have some kind of framework, and "Creepshow" is built around the very thing that inspired it - horror comics. The stories in the movie come out of a fictional comic book that a young boy (played by Stephen King's real-life son Joe) is reading. It should also be noted that the boy's father is a screaming douchebag who admonishes the small child for his choice of literature. 'Cus you know his life is going to turn out well.

Segment 1 - "Father's Day"
This story sets the tone of the movie very well, establishing the typical "Tales From the Crypt"/E.C. horror formula. If you aren't familiar with that formula, here it is: Jerk character(s) do something jerky, get supernatural comeuppance at the end. An ensemble cast (including a very young Ed Harris) is gathered at some hoity-toity mansion to celebrate Father's Day - and wouldn't you know it, the titular father in this family is coming back for a little revenge against his money-grubbing, superficial family. Hey, that cake tastes good, dammit.

Segment 2 - "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill"
Based on King's creepy short story "Weeds," this segment is both classic E.C. and classic King rolled up into one, with a denounment that will stick with you long after the end credits roll. King himself plays Jordy Verrill, an uneducated country bumpkin who sees a meteor crash onto his farm land. He takes it home, hoping to get a handsome reward from the college, but instead finds himself f**ked over royally when a green, mossy substance begins growing all over his body as a result of his contact with the meteor. King is aces as the idiot hick Verrill, and the last shot is fourteen kinds of awesome.

Segment 3 - "Something to Tide You Over"
This is where Nielsen comes into the fold as a slightly psychotic and very jealous husband who takes it upon himself to teach a lesson to his philandering wife and her lover. Said lover, I should add, is played by Ted Danson. While there is virtually no explicit gore, this gets my vote for scariest segment in the movie; death by drowning is one of my greatest fears, and Nielsen's preferred method of killing is incredibly sadistic. For all wannabe cinephiles who believe that Leslie Nielsen was only a one-dimensional clown, here's your antidote. He does a fantastic job giving this character both a terrifying and hateable cadence, and when this guy gets what's coming to him, the audience is cheering in the aisles.

Segment 4 - "The Crate"
My personal favorite story in the film. Hal Holbrook plays a college professor who has an incredibly annoying and emotionally abusive wife (Adrienne Barbeau). Much to his luck, a mysterious crate has just arrived at the university containing a creature with a truly insatiable appetite. After witnessing the creature in action, Holbrook takes matters into his own hands and uses the monstrosity as the means of solving his greatest life hurdle. What makes this segment greatness personified? Both main actors are at the top of their game, with Holbrook coming off as an average joe driven to cruel measures and Barbeau as such a dislikable bitch that we're rooting for her character to be brutally murdered.

Segment 5 - "They're Coming to Get You"
This is the only story in the film that I don't particularly care for. That's not to say that it's bad by any means - E.G. Marshall is great as a ruthless businessman who feels like he is invincible from the outside forces of the world. A swarm of bloodthirsty cockroaches inside his apartment serve as the proverbial dose of karma. While it's got a few moments (specifically the ending), I just find this portion of the movie to be a little slow. Sadly, this one usually gets the skip treatment on my DVD player.

I also need to point out that "Creepshow," in its sum total, is one of the best executed movies in the history of the medium. Both Romero and King know precisely what they are trying to accomplish with the film; a live-action comic book, and the direction and screenplay take great pains to make this point come across. The characters are over-the-top, the lighting and visuals are colorful and luminous, even the structure is very comic-like (each segment is about 20 minutes, while your standard comic book is 22 pages long). Visually, the movie is a feast to watch, and just like the horror comics that the stories are inspired by, the stories themselves are creeptacular and keep audience members guessing just how the various tales of moral comeuppance are going to present themselves.

All in all, this is one of the horror essentials. While I have a slight quibble with the story placement (I would have led off with the cockroach story and ended with "The Crate"), it matters little - when it comes to horror movies that are just downright FUN to watch, it's tough to beat this one. It's got some excellent character actors in very well-defined (and admittedly simple) roles, some great gore effects by makeup maestro Tom Savini, and it's also the only movie in cinema history to feature a guy turning into a fully-grown mossy rock. How can you beat that?