C.H.U.D. (1984)

You know, when I popped a movie whose title is an acronym for "Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers" into the ol' DVD player, the last thing I expected was a fairly well-shot, decently written, and well-acted flick that - gasp - might actually qualify as a legitimately good flick.  Lo and behold, that's just what I got, and after absorbing the 96-minute director's cut I can report that C.H.U.D. is one movie that deserves its "cult classic" status. 

Since this was my first time watching the film, there's also some additional good news: no long-winded boring story involving my long childhood history with the movie in question.  With that out of the way...

PLOT: Shot entirely within New York City, the movie's plot is basically a modernization of the fascinating "terror in the sewers" urban legends.  A substantial number of the homeless population living in the subterranean bowels of the city have disappeared, and a massive government cover-up as to the "why" of the situation is going on.  A large portion of the movie involves various characters attempting to get to the bottom of this conspiracy, which involves the transportation of nuclear materials and a few weasely figures in power who summarily make every wrong decision along the way, as is customary with movies of this nature.  Oh yeah, and large monsters with big eyes and really sharp claws who sporadically attack people.  It might not be The Shining in terms of material, but it's all executed well, with plenty of slow burn and attention to the characters.
PLOT RATING: *** out of ****.

CHARACTERS AND ACTORS: This is where the movie really roped me in.  The movie introduces us to several people connected to the conspiracy and the monsters.  There's George Cooper (John Heard), a sarcastic fashion photographer who lives with his pregnant girlfriend (Kim Greist).  There's Captain Bosch (Chris Curry), the officer in charge of the precinct where the majority of the disappearances have taken place - and one of those disappearances is his wife.  And then there's A.J. Shepherd (Daniel Stern), the guy who runs the local soup kitchen, has seen firsthand the dropoff in the number of his customers, and knows something big is amiss.  All of these protagonists are fleshed out very well, extremely likable, and portrayed with tons of energy by legit talented actors.  The human villains (largely bureaucratic government types) are a little one-note and predictable, however.
CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: *** 1/2 out of ****.

COOL FACTOR: So now we get into the "horror" aspect of the movie.  The general premise when it comes to the C.H.U.D.'s is that they have run out of available food (read: the subterranean homeless population) and now have to come to the surface for their meals.  The attack scenes are sparse in the movie, and truthfully are not particularly scary.  When we do get to see the creatures, the makeup effects seem to be fairly well done.
COOL FACTOR: ** out of ****.

OVERALL: Go figure.  I watch a movie with the express purpose of shuffling a negative review amongst my usual moronic bits of positivity, and the movie surprises me by actually being good.  From what I could gather on Wikipedia, Daniel Stern and Chris Curry rewrote more than half of the original screenplay, and their passion for the project comes through in their performances, as their characters really are the strong center that holds the film's admittedly preposterous plot together.  If you're looking for a horror movie with a VERY heavy emphasis on story over scares, you could definitely do worse than C.H.U.D.
OVERALL RATING: *** out of ****.  Worth a buy at a decent used price.