Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace
Starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin and Dan O'Herlihy
We're still four months away from October, but for reasons known entirely only to the universe, I've been on a real Halloween kick lately. I've written a little fanfic treatment for a 1998/99-area remake, I've introduced the first two flicks to a good work buddy and I've gotten in a few online scrums with perhaps the most amazing phenomenon that I've ever come across - people who defend Rob Zombie's abominomical (?) bastardizations. It's safe to say that Carpenter's Shape of Evil plays a pretty big role in my life, and while I hold Jason Voorhees much closer to the heart and am nothing short of a teenage wasteland-esque fanboy for Kayako Saeki, nothing likely ever will hold a candle to the original two Halloween films when it comes to pure atmosphere, suspense, and awesome storytelling in the inner recesses of my mind (/Damien Demento).
Which brings me to the movie in question today (/segue). I reviewed Halloween III: Season of the Witch many, many moons ago, but that was back when my reviews sucked, as opposed to the pinnachle of mediocrity that I've managed to achieve now. I'm ready to aim my 50/50 pistol at the most controversial entry in the series now. Time for some incredibly basic background info: Much like Friday the 13th Part V, this is a film that people either love or hate. To say it marked a radical departure for the series is the understatement of the century, because at least the aforementioned Friday flick had a guy who LOOKED like Jason. This film, on the other hand, is concerned about decidedly everything but Michael Myers, as John Carpenter's plan for the series at this point on was to do a different Halloween-themed story each year and leave the Myers arc closed.
Having seen all of the films that come after this one, I can't help but think that I wished this particular film would have been more of a success. It's achieved a very loyal cult fandom in the years since, but at the time, the reaction against this movie was pretty vitriolic. As for me, I can pretty much take or leave this movie, so let's look at the reasons why and test my memory of the flick's plot.
The movie opens with a toy shop owner being pursued by mysterious figures wearing business suits. After being placed in the care of Dr. Dan Challis (Tom Atkins), the owner is summarily killed, and Challis takes it upon himself to investigate the man's mysterious death. It isn't soon after that he comes across Ellie Grimbridge (Stacey Nelkin), the daughter of the shop owner and who also serves as the love interest and the recipient of my all-time favorite mid-love-making line of all time courtesy of Atkins (which would be "who cares?"). The two are able to trace the quickly developing mayhem to the Silver Shamrock Novelties factory and its oh-so-evil head Conal Cochran (Dan O'Herlihy). Ruh-roh, Shaggy, looks like we've got the makings for a groovy mystery.
Caution: spoilers ahead. As the movie's second act develops, Challis and Ellie are able to uncover a terrifying plot by Conal that has ties to Samhain itself. Yes, folks, it's not just a word that Michael Myers wrote on a blackboard. It seems that Conal and his men have managed to smuggle a fragment of Stonehenge across the Atlantic ocean and have implanted them into its large collection of Halloween masks that it has managed to unload on kids across the country. When the commercial airs on Halloween night, the chip will activate, killing the poor, unfortunate sap wearing the mask and turning their heads into a kind of snake-filled goo that spells bad news for anyone who just so happens to be around.
OK, first of all: Ha. Now, I've seen Halloween III four-ish times in my life, and maybe I'm missing something, but the exact motive for such a thing isn't spelled out very well. To say nothing of some of the logical misgivings about this most complicated of plots, including sneaking a pretty hefty piece of Stonehenge out of its source and the whole time zone question when it comes to the mask activation. Then again, I'm also a huge fan of the previous two films in this franchise which proudly features a guy wearing a white mask who is inexplicably impervious to knives and bullets for no discernible reason, so my bitching may just be null and void. HOWEVER...it is worth noting that the third act of this film gets even more preposterous, with all sorts of twists being introduced about humans being replaced with robots and much more outward witchcraft connotations, so consider that more ammunition.
Now for some criticism. Yay. First things first, this movie has an AMAZING score. The Myers films are noted for their iconic piano music, but this score is the stuff of legend. Gritty, memorable, and atmospheric. Sometimes I throw on the score just for some ambience in those 3-4 hours I spend surfing the web before work every night, it's that good. It's also got some major points in the acting department, as Tom Atkins is always aces in pretty much everything I've seen him in, including the horror classics The Fog, Creepshow and Night of the Creeps. You've got to admire any guy who once said that he would love to make a career out of being in just horror films. Nelkin is also very engaging as Ellie, and O'Herlihy, despite the subject matter of his character, is appropriately menacing as Conal.
What I can't get into, though, is this movie's story. Unfortunately, that's kind of a big deal when it comes to a 90+ minute feature film. Everyone's mileage varies, I know, but once the big evil plot of this movie becomes known roughly halfway through, I just think it gets eye-rollingly bad. There's more than a few laugh-out-loud moments for all the wrong reasons, many of them involving Cochran's army of android soldiers who patrol and guard his mask-making factory (the coup de grace in this theme coming in Challis' car during the movie's twist ending to end all twist endings). By that token, I'm well aware that there are plenty of people out there who really dig this story for commentary and consumerism and stuff, but all that nonsense is just boring as all get out to me, so I'll leave that particular conversation to the nine million other reviewers out there who enjoy spouting off about the economic implications of horror films from the 1980s.
** out of ****. There is some good stuff to be had in this film, but you have to wade through a lot of crap to get it.
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