The Dentist (1996)

1996
Directed by Brian Yuzna
Starring Corbin Bernsen, Linda Hoffman, Michael Stadvec, Ken Foree, Christa Sauls and Virginya Keehne

The Dentist is one of those horror movies that everyone should check out for an example that the axiom "it's not what a movie is about, it's HOW it goes about it" is almost always true.  The concept of the flick, to me, sounds mind-numbingly stupid.  Dentist discovers his wife cheating on him, goes on murderous rampage.  But the slow burn transformation that Corbin Bernsen goes through throughout the flick is actually very well done, to the point that the final bits actually do bear a little bit of weight.  So score five points for the axiom writers of the world.

Having said that...yes, some concepts are so bad that no amount of dressing up can save them.  Gigli, I'm looking at you.  One final word: I'm writing this review off two hours of sleep, so don't be surprised if it's brief.  The Fun Size Reviews might be making their return.

Bernsen plays Dr. Alan Feinstone, successful dentist who lives in a bigass house and has a hot wife.  Both of those things are about to be threatened, the latter of which when he discovers his spouse Brooke (Hoffman) cheating on him with the pool boy Matt (Stadvec).  The early goings of the movie have Feinstone tracing the movements of Brooke and Matt, getting into trouble by killing his wife's friend's dog, all kinds of fun stuff.  There's also this creepy bit when he begins operating on the teeth of beauty queen April Reign (Sauls - and while it's been several years since I've seen the movie, I remember her being smokin' hot), and then operating on some other stuff if you know what I mean.  It's a weird section - he hallucinates that April is his really his wife, or something, and then goes about fondling her and removing articles of clothing, followed by having a hell of a time explaining that to the woman's manager.  Fun stuff.

Moving right along, it's time to get revenge on the people responsible for his misery.  Without doubt, these are the movie's money sequences.  The "teeth-pulling" scene with Brooke is one of the most cringe-worthy things I've seen in any horror movie, followed by the quick stabbing murder of Matt that shocks us back to reality.  At this point, I would like to say a few words about the performance of Bernsen in this movie.  In short, it really is something.  This movie had a budget of $2.5 million, missed theaters and went straight to video, but it had some solid people behind it and they definitely had a dude in front of the camera who didn't half-ass it.  Bernsen INVESTS into Alan Feinstone, to the point where you don't condone the guys actions in the least bit but you can see the gears turning, slowly grinding to a hault and giving way to total insanity.  Even when he hits that last point, it's hard to laugh at him.  So another five points to the movie there.

In between all of this madness, there are the usual bits of police procedural stuff - this time represented by Ken Foree.  He has a made up name for his character, but I refuse to call him anything else.  Foree is a dude who is well-known to horror veterans as one of the stars of the original Dawn of the Dead and Texas Chain Saw Massacre III, and he's alright here.  Truthfully, though, these bits just kind of bog the movie down.  It's hard to focus your attention on other things when Bernsen is so damn good at being batshit insane, so call it flaccid penis syndrome by proxy.  Whoa, what?

Amazingly enough, the stuff that I've talked about so far has pretty much led us directly to the climax.  Your setup: Paula (that would be neighbor lady who was also enjoying some pool time with Matt) and Sarah (a teenager played by Virginya Keehne in the office to get her braces taken out) both have encounters with Alan that have very different results.  If I remember correctly, this movie has an insanely long "Final Girl" sequence, something like 20 minutes, with Sarah running away from Alan in the office and looking great doing it.  Salacious statement time: women of the world, one look that needs to come back is the mid-'90s short skirt and thigh-high socks combo.  Lick Ness Monster approves.

Awkward summary time:  This is actually a pretty damn good movie, despite those boring cop bits and its admittedly out-there premise, because the execution is spot-on.  Solid direction, an awesome performance from Bernsen and some solid horror stuff raise this material to a level that it really had no right getting to.  Now, there IS a sequel to this movie, and I'm a little hesitant to check it out because this movie had the benefit of the plot device of Alan Feinstone actually GOING insane.  I just can't picture it being quite as resonant having him as a nutjob from the beginning, but that's just me.  Maybe it's really good.

*** out of ****.  Not gonna win any awards or anything, but for a lesson in low-budget film-making with plenty of heart and energy, this is one of those "101" lessons.