Directed by David R. Ellis
Starring Ali Larter, A.J. Cook and Michael Landes
Final Destination 2, a movie that takes me back way more than a movie that I didn't especially enjoy, don't own, and only recently watched again to write this review that all of 30 people will read. Nonetheless, this flick holds a lot of nostalgic value for yours truly, because it was - without a doubt - one of the most fun, raucous in-theater audience experiences I've ever had. Let me tell you something (brother), that night at the cinema was crazy. Crammed to the gills with teen and early adult fans of gore and mayhem, it was nuts. Lots of laughs, lots of gasps and more than a few MST3K-style quips being hurled at the screen during some of the more outlandish moments made this a really, really fun time, even if the movie itself is kind of "meh." With the exception of the death scenes, of course.
Now, I reviewed the original flick long ago here on the blog, so I'll spare everyone the gory details of how that whole idea came to be. Well, I WILL again harp on how this concept was originally conceived as an X-Files episode. Looking back...I'm really glad that they decided to shelve that plan and just make it a movie, because picturing that episode is almost painful.
Mulder: I think that what we're looking at here, Scully, is death kind of doubling back on itself and making it right. And that's why this kid just got sawed in half.
Scully: That's the dumbest f**king thing I've ever heard.
Lo and behold, the first movie was a monster hit. 2.5 years later, we got this. That's essentially all the background info you need.
Maybe the thing that the FD series is known for more than anything else is the batshit insane opening sequence of death. And I've got to say...all these years later, and this movie still has the best one in the entire series. College student Kimberly Corman (A.J. Cook, who is serviceable but completely unmemorable - kind of a microcosm of 2000s-era horror heroines, really) is off to spring break with all of her friends. The highway is the scene this time around, and this is something that I remember vividly from that theater experience 13 years ago. Cue the main character's premonition, as we get crashes, flying logs, fire, explosions. A whole lot of visceral stuff, and it was absolutely awesome.
Unfortunately, this is where the movie slows down, and it means that we have to meet our batch of characters. In addition to Kimberly and her perfectly stereotypical hot friends, we get a mother and her teenage son, some dork who won the lottery, the classic early-2000s movie "stoner" character, a tough-but-sensitive cop, and a few others that are too one note to mention. When you can sum characters up in something like two words, yeah, you're asking for trouble. This is one area where the first movie just destroys this one, as both Devon Sawa and Ali Larter were perfectly fine, somewhat memorable characters that we actually, you know, DIDN'T want to see get killed. In this film...yeah, we're just waiting for the next death scene to hit the entire time, because nobody is particularly enthralling or sympathetic. Or maybe I was just in an especially bloodthirsty mood when re-watching this movie.
It goes without saying that you're not watching a Final Destination flick for the human element, though. This movie series is all about the kill scenes and the gore, and all the clever, ingenious ways that death goes about setting things right after that initial premonition is halted. And in this movie, they took what the first did and amped it up to the nth degree. Without bothering to look it up, I'm pretty sure that I called the death scenes "Goldberg Variation"-esque, and I'm just going to throw that phrase designed to fool people into thinking I'm smart out there again. I'll just throw out the two things that I remember best and that still stuck out to me upon watching it again - the airbag kill and the tease where the guy is sticking his arm into a garbage disposal only to get killed by something else entirely much later. Of course, I should ALSO mention that in the first movie death was this sentient thing that also tried to cover its tracks and...yeah, they pretty much ditched that concept entirely for this movie, realizing that it would be much more fun just to go completely balls-out insane with the deaths. This would only snowball in later sequels.
Eventually, the characters realize that they need some help in this wave of chaos (/horrible phrase) and seek out the lone survivor from the original movie. Ladies and gentlemen, Ali Larter. More specifically, 2003 Ali Larter, back when she was like the hottest woman on the planet. Of course, in the first two FD movies her name is Clear Rivers, but I refuse to call her anything else. Somehow, I doubt anyone cares. Here, Ali has voluntarily committed herself to a psychiatric facility to cheat death in her own way. Once she finds out that it's after a new batch of losers, however, she begins a John Matrix-like campaign to put the Reaper back in his place. And, IMO, this is where the movie flies into the primordial soup after its promising start.
When you go to a Final Destination movie, you know what you're getting. Good, old-fashioned R-rated gore and shocks and a human story that is secondary to all of that. It's all about the execution. And I think the execution here is a little weak. For starters, Kimberly is just a really, really weak heroine, and the only other character that I remembered any aspect of later was the dude who liked porn. Thus, you won't be caring too much when these people get knocked off. Also, weirdly enough, this flick seemed to be going a lot more for LAUGHS than any other movie in the series. The kill scenes here are clearly meant to be the "over-the-top goofy/funny" variety, and it's kind of a jarring storytelling method. The ending, in particular, was clearly meant to get a laugh. Hey, it made ME laugh, so that counts. When watching a movie about supposedly innocent people dying, however, laughing isn't the way to go. So -2 cool points there.
Arguments over. Let's give this flick ** out of ****. It's entertaining, no doubt, but for the reasons listed above, I can't recommend it too much for people who aren't hardcore fans of this franchise.
No comments:
Post a Comment