The Hidden (1987)

1987
Directed by Jack Sholder
Starring Michael Nouri, Kyle MacLachlan, Clu Gulager, Chris Mulkey, Ed O'Ross, Claudia Christian and Larry Ceder

By the time 2009 rolled around, I'd watched Friday the 13th Part II something like 50 times.  And I'm not exaggerating.  For the better part of a year, the discs in that much-maligned "Crystal Lake to Manhattan" box set got heavy repeats in my DVD player, playing over and over while I slept (don't look at me like that) and helping me get through a very difficult period in my life.  Thus, much like all eight original Jason classics, I know that movie like the back of my hand.  So imagine my surprise when I see the Mario Bava classic Twitch of the Death Nerve and realize that one of my favorite movies ripped off pretty much all of its kills from a movie that came out eight years earlier.

Amazingly enough, it wouldn't be the only time that the greatest movie series in the history of ever would shamelessly crib from another movie.  Jason Goes to Hell was the flick where original series creator Sean Cunningham told his director to do whatever he wanted as he long as he got Jason out of that damn hockey mask.  So...what we got was The Hidden.  The Hidden, you ask?  Glad you did.  This was a nifty thriller released in 1987, back when New Line Cinema was still in its "House that Freddy Built" phase and proud to trot out low-budget flicks with well-known 1970s TV stars.  What's more, it had Jack Sholder, the director of Nightmare on Elm Street 2, and it brought back one of the stars of that film, Clu Gulager, in a minor role.  What's more, it's also very fun.  Yeah.  Film criticism.

The two main characters are LAPD detective Thomas Beck (Michael Nouri) and FBI Special Agent Lloyd Gallagher (Kyle MacLachlan), and their search for a very elusive set of killers.  And I must say...these two actors have really good chemistry.  Now, it's not exactly Lethal Weapon, but you get the sense that there was a lot of fun being had on the set of this flick, and a lot of it had to do with Nouri and MacLachlan.  Movies with that quality are hard to find, so if you're in for a resounding round of non-pretentiousness, look no further. 

The plot wastes absolutely no time getting going, as a team of cops overseen by Beck have just captured Jack DeVries (Chris Mulkey).  Jack is a model citizen, no previous arrests, and has thus stunned the authorities by going on an Oliver Stone-level crime and murder wave across Los Angeles.  Seriously.  Had this character's name been A Guy, no one would have known any different.  Upon his capture, Beck meets Gallagher, setting in forth the relationship that would define the rest of the sweeping story of The Hidden.  Meanwhile, DeVries wakes up in the hospital and regurgitates the slug-like symbiote controlling his actions into another patient's mouth.  Wait, what?

Yup.  You know how Jason Goes to Hell was about body swapping?  That's also what we get here.  But while that film featured Jason Voorhees' soul moving from person to person, this one has this disgusting snail-type alien doing the same thing.  The general idea is that this thing does whatever feels good, and when it takes the form of a human being, it's murder, mayhem and debauchery, baby.  So...this alien essentially is Human Bender.  From here, there's a bunch of insanity that happens as the patient robs a liquor store, heads to a strip club, swaps bodies with one of the friendly dancing girls, flashes some tit, you name it.  Said stripper, by the way, is played by Claudia Christian, best known as Commander Ivanova in Babylon 5.  If you ever wanted to see a Sci-Fi queen parade around wearing next to nothing, this is your movie.

The flick is very different from the movie that ripped it off in one important regard, though - while it's goofy, it actually does a decent job hooking you in emotionally.  Screenplay-wise, it's pretty much spot-on.  The first ten pages do an excellent job creating intrigue, but it's the middle section of the movie that really shines as virtually every character is given a decent amount of time to develop.  Beck invites Gallagher over to share dinner with his family, and it's here where e learn that the younger FBI jackass once had a run-in with the creature that they're tailing and has a personal stake in the case.  A truly amazing character arc, if I say so myself.  We also get to know Beck's former partner and a bunch of the cops at the station, and while they're mostly caricatures, they're well-constructed and acted caricatures.  Especially Clu Gulager as the requisite bitchy Lieutenant guy, but that guy is always amazing.

Oh, and the movie has a giant swerve that I never in a million years saw coming.  Now, I am fairly easily fooled when it comes to movies, so take that for what it's worth.  I've never guessed a single Dario Argento mystery killer correctly despite everyone and their mother telling me that they were able to call them from a mile off...but I'm fairly confident that The Hidden will pull the rug out from under you in a pretty big way in regards to one particular thing.  See for yourself.

As the movie gears up for its final trimester, the stakes are also on the rise - another plus in the screenplay department!  The creature is targeting presidential hopeful Senator Holt (John McCann) in the hopes that it can CONQUER THE WORLD...or something.  This leads to shootouts, a fair bit of political intrigue, and a climactic fight scene that satisfies as well as a can of 1980s Coke.  Which, I'm fairly sure pretty much all of the actors in this movie were on at the time.  Suffice to say, the movie has an escalating threat and an equally escalating counter-threat.  As a result, I can't say enough good about writer Bob Hunt, who made very few mistakes when plotting out this film.

I don't know what else to say about The Hidden, other than it really is one of those one-of-a-kind type films.  It's that rare example of a project that came along with the right director, the right people in front of the camera, and at EXACTLY the right point in time.  I'm actually somewhat surprised that it wasn't a bigger hit - it grossed $9.7 million, and while I can't find the budget information on the interwebz, I'm guessing that it cost somewhere in the $5 million neighborhood to shoot, which would have put it right in line with Nightmare on Elm Street 3.  The special effects are impressive and practical, the actors are right on point, and the action/sci-fi stuff is pretty damn epic. 

*** 1/2 out of ****.  Yeah, this movie ain't gonna win any hoity-toity awards.  But it has enough going for it that I can call it a must-see without any guilt.  Check it out, you won't be disappointed.