Directed by Tom Holland
Starring Patricia Wettig, Dean Stockwell, David Morse, Mark Lindsay Chapman, Frankie Faison and Bronson Pinchot
The first Stephen King novel I ever read was The Shining. And if you're a 13-year-old looking to make their first leap into this man's literary library, that's by far the one that I would recommend starting out with, because in addition to inspiring what might very well be the scariest movie of all time, it's one of the scariest pieces of fiction ever written. After 420 pages of ghosts in bathtubs, mysterious games of roque, and that epic boiler finale, I wanted more. I bet you'll never guess what the SECOND thing I ever read by Stephen King was...well, unless you're looking at the mammoth poster located just above this review, in which case you're a damned CHEATER.
Yup, it was "The Langoliers." More specifically, it was one of four separate novellas in a mammoth book called "Four Past Midnight," and to this day, it remains one of my favorite King works. The story of a small group of survivors on board an airplane that curiously lost 99% of its passengers without a trace, this was some fantastic stuff. As opposed to knocking you over the head with pure horror, "The Langoliers" was really more of a mystery that unfolded throughout its lean and mean 280-page length (hence the term "novella") that slowly reveals the truth about the flight and what awaits the survivors. That's not to say that it doesn't have its suspenseful moments; there are plenty, but they're just that. Suspenseful, but not terrifying. But the thing that really stuck with me about this story was that I believe it to have the most downright likable group of characters in anything King has ever done. Even the douchy bad guy was sympathetic, but we'll be getting to him in due time.
Which brings me to this movie. Released in 1995, The Langoliers was the TV movie version that aired on ABC just in time for May Sweeps. Written and directed by Tom Holland (a pretty prolific guy in the horror genre, and his Twitter account is definitely worth following), the script is actually incredibly faithful to the novella. It also has a fairly recognizable cast of actors at its disposal. Unfortunately, it falls short on execution in one major way. Thus concludes the introductory film criticism.
As already mentioned, our story starts with a red-eye flight bound for Boston's Logan International Airport. Blind little girl Dinah Bellman wakes up and begins searching for the bathroom, only to discover that the plane is significantly less crowded than it was when she fell asleep. In fact, just about everyone is gone, including her Aunt Vicky. So begins the first third of the film, as we go about meeting the characters on board the flight who are now left to wonder just what the heck happened to everybody in a manner that Rod Serling would be damn proud of.
I'd be fairly willing to bet that King had Twilight Zone heavily on the brain when he wrote this story, and make no mistake about it, The Langoliers is essentially a three-hour Twilight Zone episode. True story: I was actually going to write a blog listing my five favorite TZ twist endings, even going so far as to scribe my notes for the post during my down time at work. But then I realized how lazy of an idea that was. Fortunately, one of those twist endings (if you must know, it was the one at the end of "The Odyssey of Flight 33") reminded me of this film, so here it is. And now you know, and knowing is half the battle! That lovely aside is over, kids, so back to the show.
From here, we go about meeting the characters, and it's a fairly interesting, varied bunch. There's Brian Engle (David Morse), the Captain of the airplane who has just found out that his ex-wife has died; there's Laurel Stevenson (Patricia Wettig), a school teacher onboard the plane to essentially meet her online date before online dating was even a thing; there's Bob Jenkins (the always reliable Dean Stockwell), mystery novelist whose harebrained theories almost universally turn out to be true; there's Albert Kaussner (Christopher Collet), young violinist whose fantasy "Arizona Jew" character made the book undeniably awesome but is sorely lacking here in this film; there's Bethany Simms, troubled teen on her way to drug rehab and romantic interest for Albert; there's Nick Hopewell (Mark Lindsay Chapman), a goddamned British secret agent who is on his way to KILL SOMEBODY in Boston; and, amazingly enough, several more. In the book, they were all fleshed out very well. Here, it almost all feels a bit rushed. But one thing that ISN'T rushed is the best character in the entire film, one Mr. Craig Toomey.
Ahhh, Craig Toomey. He's played by Bronson "Balki" Pinchot, Mr. Serge himself, and he's your human villain of the film. Eventually, the plane lands. By that point, everyone on board is friendly with each other, with the story already planting the seeds for what is to come. Bob Jenkins has begun to theorize that the airplane traveled back in time, the romantic roots have been planted for Albert and Bethany as well as Laurel and Nick, and they've all noticed that eerie crunching sound in the distance that seems to be getting closer. And there is NOBODY ELSE AROUND, seemingly in the entire world. All throughout, Craig Toomey has been a giant pain in everybody's ass. He's a businessman with a tragic back story involving the kind of father that everyone has nightmares about, screaming at little Craig for achieving a B (a B!) in school and decrying his son for "scampering" through life. See, he likes that word, scamper. It says a lot about how GOOD that book was that I remember dialogue and descriptors like this 20 years later. Toomey also has the eccentric habit of constantly tearing sheets of paper to alleviate his stress, but it serves no use. He's on his way to a business meeting, and nothing is going to stop it. Even if he has to kill to get there.
Craig Toomey is an awesome character, and Pinchot was more than game to play him. He chews the scenery, but he's the kind of ham that you actually like to eat. Simply put, this guy was aces in this movie. Eventually, Toomey goes bat-crap crazy and it's up to the remaining characters to find him before he can kill anybody...but that loud noise is only getting louder. And once we find out what it is...whoo boy, get ready for some bad CGI, kids. I'll leave it up to you to discover what awaits these people should their refueling efforts fail. Non-spoiler answer: the movie's title creatures definitely looked a lot cooler in my mind's eye when reading the book, as this was one of the few King stories that I actually READ first.
So that's what this movie is all about, people. A group of people onboard a plane travel through a rip in time, one of the surviving passengers happens to be a psychopathic killer, and there are also supernatural beings out to do terrible things to them in the event they can't find a way back to the present day. It's the crux of the book, and it's also the crux here. Where this movie fell WAY short of the bar was in casting. Yeah, Pinchot was boss. But everyone else with the exception of Stockwell was woefully miscast. David Morse was Mike Bennett levels of bland as Captain Engle; in the book, he was conflicted and complicated. Here, he's just kind of there. The Albert Kaussner of the book was somebody you could get behind; here, he's just a stereotypical dweeb. Same thing with Bethany, except she's just your garden variety mid-'90s "bad girl" character. The worst offender is definitely Wettig as Laurel; like Engle, she was charismatic and layered in the novella. Wettig was just one-dimensional to the core.
Now, I will say this. The movie DOES hold your attention for all 180 minutes of its running time. But a lot of it will be spent wondering what different actors could have done in these roles. Bad casting is a flaw that I can overlook in other movies. In this one, though, it's enough to knock that awesome story back a whole couple of pegs. That's a lot of pegs, kids. There's no shortage of side plots in The Langoliers, and they're thrown entirely off by the off-kilter casting choices. Or maybe I'm just weird. It's been a while since I've dusted off this phrase, but call it glandular.
However, there are two final notes of coolness to be had here: yet another awesome cameo from King himself as Craig Toomey's boss who greets him during the film's harrowing climax, and the fact that the whole damn movie was filmed at and around Bangor International Airport. Those in the know (like, myself and fellow nerds) are aware that this is also Stephen King's hometown. So +2 to the movie and Tom Holland on that one.
Rating time. I'll give the TV movie-of-the-week version of The Langoliers ** 1/2 out of ****. Like the source material, the story is awesome, but that cast...man. At any rate, it's an ideal Saturday afternoon time waster if you're half-asleep and aren't paying too much attention to your TV. Lastly, READ THE NOVELLA!
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