Directed by David Fincher
Starring Sigourney Weaver, Charles Dance, Charles S. Dutton and Lance Henriksen
Time for the first Alien movie that I actually knew about. Not only that, I pretended to know a lot more about it than I actually did. I still remember the ads for Alien 3 when it premiered in 1992 and the effect they had on me. You see, sometime in second grade, I became obsessed with the paraormal and checked out every book that my library ('memba those?) had on the subject. And then the ads for this flick came, promising not just aliens, but vicious, man-eating aliens. Since it had that number 3 in the title, it almost seemed too good to be true - there was a whole SERIES of movies about said man-eating aliens? Color me in. Those ads became the talk of school, and for something like a month, I acted (and probably failed) like I'd seen the previous movies. Some epic story, huh? Lick Ness Liar.
A few years later when I actually saw the flick, I though it was a strange beast. Hell, I still do. When I re-watched it again for this review, I had essentially the EXACT same experience that I did initially and have had something like four times since. Every time I give this one a watch, I think that THIS might finally be the time when I find more things that I like about it. It's never happened. It's still just as scatterbrained as it ever was. Of course, these days, big-time blockbusters mandatorily have big overblown pre-production periods with something like the population of a small country all lending their hand in the story process. This film was one of the first examples of this. It has this legendary back story about how f**ked the whole thing got by the 70,000 talking heads pushing it in various directions behind the scenes that I've never actually gotten around to gleaming in its entirety, but man, can you tell. Let's explore why.
Drab, drab, drab. It's one four-letter word, but it sums up the whole movie. In a way, it makes sense. Aliens was one of those films that could be held up in the official Action Movie Handbook (TM) as a shining example of how to do it. Thus, it was worn territory, and going the Ultra Dark Route (TM) seemed like a good play. The movie starts off with the pod from the previous film crash-landing on a planet. The inhabitants quickly resuscitate Ripley from hyper-sleep, and we learn not soon thereafter that both Hicks and Newt were killed in the crash. Every other review you've read of this movie bitches about the fact that two perfectly good, likable characters being killed off without a whimper, so yeah, color me among them, it sucks. Drab.
Even more drabness awaits. The planet that Ripley now finds herself on is...my, it' something else. Fiorina 161, or "Fury" 161 for somewhat shorter, is this sort-of massive prison world where the inmates essentially police themselves with minimal involvement from any sort of higher authority. The first trimester of the movie is spent introducing us to a lot of these very non-humorous jokers. Ordinarily, I spend this part of the review telling you all about them, but yikes, I just can't do it this time around. There are some very good actors in Alien 3, but the truth is that the characters they play are just completely one-dimensional and one-note. For a franchise that featured some pretty damn unforgettable side characters, this part of the movie is the huge disappointment that I still just can't get over and probably the biggest reason why every one of my 5-6 watches of it has just been a chore. Who cares? These people are very boring. Drab.
Wait, isn't this an Alien movie? Why, yes. Yes it is. I own the director's cut of this flick, and at something like 30 minutes longer we get a little bit different of a setup than the one that theatrical audiences saw all of those years ago. A queen facehugger stowed away on the escape ship Ripley was on, and upon crash-landing on Fury 161 it attaches itself to one of the planet's oxen. Yup, there are oxen in this movie. Within short order (short order in this film being something like 47 minutes of dialogue, doctor visits and the inmates' strange rituals featuring all sorts of religious imagery), the alien hatches...and it's something else. One cool concept that this film hatches onto (see what I did there?) is the idea that the alien is indeed a true xenoMORPH, taking on the shape of whatever host it had. In the first two films, it was bipedal since it was always attacking humans. This time, it walks around on all fours. In theaters, it was dog-like, but the ox-alien in the director's cut is also pretty awesome. This was one of the rare welcome changes of Alien 3.
It's generally accepted that all of the powers-that-be behind this film didn't want to go back to the well-worn territory of Aliens and were looking to get back to basics. Much like the original, Alien 3 is all about a group of characters trying to take down one alien creature before it mows through the local population, with the added suspense coming in the fact that firearms aren't allowed on Fury 161, putting the inmates at a huge handicap. Everything builds to a third act that has almost every side character dying a gruesome death at the hands of the ox- (or dog) alien, and an ending twist that had to have seemed to audiences in 1992 that this was, indeed, going to be the final film in the franchise. But you know what they say about Hollywood: Never Say Never Until it's Truly Distasteful, Then Make Five More Films.
I know it seems like I've been pretty hard on this flick, but it's not all bad. This might actually be Weaver's best performance as Ripley in the entire series. She was definitely cooler and more badass in the first two films, but this script required her to do some actual acting, and she was more than game for it. You truly do get a sense of just how long this whole story has been playing out in Ripley's mind as you watch. In addition to that, the world of Fury 161 and the production design is unreal, with director David Fincher showing clear early signs of just how awesome some of his later work would be. And again, the work on the alien itself by visual effects guru Tom Woodruff Jr. is spot-on. Oh, and Lance Henriksen makes a cameo appearance in the movie as the android Bishop...or rather Bishop's torso.
It's the story details where this flick completely fails. The concept of the film was sound enough on paper, I just don't think it's executed very well. It's a shame, because I WANT to be into this movie. Even today, knowing full well that I don't especially enjoy it, every watch comes from a place of optimism. It's just that the characters are SO uninteresting and the pacing is SO slow. There's nothing wrong with a good slow burn, but this movie has an ancient one. As a result, the suspense is practically non-existant. Imagine an Alien 3 where Hicks and Newt also survived the crash, giving us that added emotional weight to go along with the strong attachment we have to Ripley...and that the planet they land on isn't a prison world but a highly-advanced, booming human colony with a bustling Metropolis...and that the side characters that get introduced to us speak in a manner other than dull whisper mode...and that the alien queen succeeds in multiplying on said world, thus launching an apocalyptic final battle to end the series. Sounds awesome to me. Sometimes, overthinking is bad, and that should be the lesson that is forever gleamed from Alien 3 and its incredibly convoluted production.
* 1/2 out of ****. There are some great scenes in this movie, but they're VERY few and far between. All of these years later, I still think this one is a textbook example of style over substance. Thus, I still can't quite convince myself to like it.
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