Freaks (1932)

1932
Directed by Tod Browning
Starring Wallace Ford, Leila Hyams, Olga Baclanova and Roscoe Ates

Here we go, my first ever viewing of Freaks.  I've been aware of this movie for what seems like forever.  Since seventh grade, in fact, when we used to get this amazing catalogue in the mail called the Johnson-Smith Catalogue of Things You Never Knew Existed.  Most of these things had the same items in just about every issue, but every once in a while they would get their hands on some rare item.  I remember getting an (at that time) ultra-scarce box of Star Trek: TNG trading cards.  And on their single page where they listed VHS tapes, they once had a copy of this film, describing it as a movie that managed to achieve unparalleled controversy in its day.  These days, it's pretty tame, but in 1932...I can see why.

Last Halloween, I remember taking note of the director of the original Universal Dracula movie and putting the 2 and 2 together when it came to Freaks.  According to the ever-accurate Wikipedia, MGM Studios gave him tons of leeway when it came about crafting the story of this film, and what he chose to draw on was his experience in a traveling circus as a teen.  What Browning came up with was a movie that shocked audiences to the point that almost a third of the original cut was erased, and that footage has never been recovered.  When it comes to the world of traveling carnivals, I'm just a step below Austin Powers.  Back in my high school days, we used to have one every summer in the parking lot of the mall that housed the McDonald's I worked at, meaning that for the better part of a week all of these guys would come in for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.  It was an experience, I tell ya.  They smell like cabbage.  Freaky stuff.  With that, let's see how much we can get out of this amazingly lean 64 minutes.

The setup: We open up with a sideshow barker showing a group of tourists the person that he dubs the most grotesque thing that has ever graced the Earth.  And it doesn't disappoint, as said tourists immediately gasp in horror when he does the big unveiling.  The script immediately launches to a traveling circus where we meet Cleopatra (Olga Baclanova), the trapeze artist who is eventually revealed to be an extremely dislikable character.  Actually, EVENTUALLY might be a bit of a misnomer, as the first ten minutes establishes the fact that she steals circus strongman Hercules (Henry Victor) away from his girlfriend, a sweet woman named Venus (Leila Hyams).  But Cleopatra also has another suitor, the pint-sized dwarf named Hans (played by the amazing Harry Earles).

At first, Cleopatra is merely humored by all of the attention and gifts that she gets from Hans and jokes about it behind the scenes with Hercules.  Both actors are great in their respective roles as a couple of knuckleheads who get their rocks off laughing at the circus freaks behind their backs, and boy, what a cast this movie has aside from Hans and his fiance Frieda (Daisy Earles, Harry's real-life wife).  There's Half-Boy, the Armless Girl, conjoined twins...and the microcephalics.  A big word that I had to look up just for this review because I'm one dedicated mofo.  If you've seen this movie, you'll know what I'm talking about.  The sideshow people aren't played for scares this early in the movie, but knowing what is to come, a lot of them are indeed unnerving.  But not in the way that they're ever portrayed as the villains.  Stick with me.

See, s**t gets real when Cleopatra finds out that Hans is due to inherit a whole lot of money.  Since we're already at about the halfway point of the movie, it doesn't take long for the nuptials to take place.  We get the classic wedding feast scene where the sideshow performers accept Cleopatra into their ranks with that creepy chant later made famous in the Ramones' "Pinhead" song.  We get a somewhat convoluted series of events where Cleopatra and Hercules try to poison Hans that goes wrong.  And then the finale as the circus travels to another location.  Yikes.

If it sounds like I'm simplifying this movie, I'm really not.  It's so short that it flies by, although it DOES make time for a couple of side plots.  For such a mean story, we get some much-needed levity in the form of Venus finding romance with Phrosio (Wallace Ford), the friendly circus clown.  There's also the owner of the circus proposing to one of the twins and one of the sideshow performers giving birth.  Yeah, all of these are character traits that are established in a scene or two, but they're much-needed little nuggets of humanity that, fortunately, are just enough to hold your attention until the credits roll.

Fun fact from the life of the Lick Ness Monster: this was one of the movies that I looked up on Amazon and found that the DVD was something like thirty bucks.  No thanks.  Amazon Video?  Something like a quarter of that.  Understand something, folks - if you choose to take the bold leap of buying this flick digitally, you're not going to be getting some big epic thing that is going to rock your world.  A lot of the movies featured in the Black (and White) Christmas Spectacular really do require some context of where the movie world was at the time they were released, and this is no different.  By modern standards, this movie is pretty dull.  If you're willing to look past that, though, there's definitely some enjoyment to be had.

How so?  Well, the characters.  There's a lot of characters in Freaks, and there's a lot of characters that you'll never forget.  Hans in particular is simply unforgettable.  Earles manages to pull some real emotion out of this material, and coupled with his stature and his unmistakable voice this guy is an instant classic.  Venus and Phrosio are both really likable, as well, and serve as a nice balance to show that not all of the big people in the world of this flick are bad.  Because of this, the movie actually manages to be touching despite its subject matter.  In addition to the people populating the landscape, there's also the landscape itself.  Browning managed to really amp up the atmosphere here just like he did with Dracula, which isn't surprising since this movie was budgeted at $316,000 - a fortune for the time period.

Rating time.  Freaks gets *** out of ****.  Don't go into it with sky-high expectations and you'll enjoy yourself, although maybe not in the way that you'd ever want to watch the movie again.