Poltergeist (1982)

1982
Directed by Tobe Hooper
Starring Craig T. Nelson, "Smokin'" JoBeth Williams, Heather O'Rourke, Dominique Dunne, Oliver Robins and Zelda Rubinstein

Here's another one for the "can't believe I've never reviewed before" file.  I've had a DVD copy of Poltergeist sitting on my shelf for no less than seven years, dug it out for a few sporadic watches and discarded it without a second thought.  Time to exorcise this demon once and for all.

Maybe it's because I've just assumed that everyone else has already seen and formed their own opinion of this movie, because this is a flick that as undoubtedly huge in its day.  It was released in 1982, being one of many, many, many motion pictures at the time to have some Steven Spielberg connection.  Except, in this case, the term "connection" might be a bit too vague, because there is quite the debate to this day about just how large of a role he played in the production of Poltergeist.  Technically, he was the producer and cowriter, but according to some film theoreticians (and a few people on the set), he actually directed the movie.  Amazingly enough, the guy getting the director credit for this very large budget ghost flick is Tobe Hooper, the guy behind several "so cheap that I'll just film this snuff-style" epics including The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Eaten Alive.  Having seen how professional some of his later films without Steven frekin' Spielberg's name attached to it look (including TCM 2 and Lifeforce), I have to call bullshit on this theory.   

What else is there to share?  Well, not much.  The basic premise behind Poltergeist is your basic conventional haunted house film, except with a much bigger special effects budget and with some very, very big names attached to the production and screenwriting units.  Oh, and JoBeth Williams is all kinds of MILF-tastic.

PLOT:  Meet the Freelings, family just like yours who have just moved into a new house in suburban America.  There's dad and real estate agent Steven (Craig T. "Coach" Nelson), homemaker wife Diane (Williams) who also enjoys pot-smoking in her off time, teenage daughter/skank (seriously, there's like three different not-so-subtle jokes that poke fun at her promiscuity) Dana (Dominique Dunne, who tragically died shortly after filming this movie), Star Wars-obsessed son Robbie (Oliver Robins) and blonde little girl/"They're Here" sayer Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke, who amazingly enough also met a premature death in 1988, adding to this film's legend as a "cursed movie").  They live in a house that looks just like all of their neighbors' residences, but it doesn't take long before it becomes apparent just how different the new Freeling home is.

The first act of this movie concludes with Carol Anne (who has been communicating with mysterious "TV people," who seem to be much more fascinating than my own TV people as a child who consisted of Gilbert Gottfried and Garfield) being abducted by shadowy ghosts living in the house.  The Freelings call in a troupe of parapsychology experts to deal with the abduction/weird shit going on, and it all builds to what is admittedly a pretty cool third act where Diane comes face-to-face with the very pissed-off evil ghost that lords over the house and wants to claim Carol Anne as its own.  There's nothing fresh here in terms of story, but it's all executed well-enough.  And it's got an occasionally daisy duke-wearing and underwear-clad JoBeth Williams to gawk at.
PLOT RATING: *** out of ****.

CHARACTERS AND ACTORS:  When I was watching this movie as a kid, I really identified with the character of Robbie.  Pointless background information: I was a massive scaredy cat as a child, to the point where I interpreted every suspect noise in my bedroom as a single-digit-age-person eating helldemon bent on wrecking my shit up with a vengeance.  Looking back on it, I still connect with Robbie the most in this movie, because while the actors give it their damndest...the Freelings are a pretty vanilla bunch, with the exception of the "'60s rebel, dude" cliches that the writers gave the parents.  Since Poltergeist is rated PG, we're also not getting any deaths here, but if we were, the group of psychic researchers who almost ransack the movie halfway through might as well have had "CANNON FODDER" written in block letters on their foreheads.  One of them, however, does have a pretty neat special effects sequence involving hallucinatory face melting.  So there is that.
CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: ** out of ****.

COOL FACTOR:  Amazing information that even the most casual of movie fans already knows - Steven Spielberg is pretty much the man when it comes to making his movies feel like a big deal, and Poltergeist is no different.  The budget punched in with a final number of a little over $10 million, which was absolutely ginormous by 1982 horror movie standards, and it's safe to say that you can see every dollar of that money on the screen here.  At a time when most horror flicks were decidedly slashery, low-budget and bathed in fake blood (not that there's anything wrong with that), this movie was slick, well-produced and very professional.  There's plenty of great camerawork, nifty visuals and Industrial Light & Magic animation to be had here, although (as aforementioned) you won't get any cool deaths.
COOL FACTOR: *** out of ****.

OVERALL:  Over the years, I've come to have a deep appreciation when I see a classic three-act structure in a screenplay.  These days, this is practically a lost art, as it seems that almost every drama/thriler film I've seen in the past five years or so is obsessed with throwing in hackneyed twist after hackneyed twist while action movies have been busy Peter Jackson-ing themselves into oblivion (read: false climax after false climax).  Poltergeist has none of that.  It's an event movie with clear-cut beginning, middle and ending sections, it's got a few classic scenes (particularly Carol Anne's abduction and the ending chase with Diane and the Beast), and it's very well-made.  In this day and age of blockbuster movies that outright insult moviegoers' intelligence, this flick is a revelation.  It's got its flaws, but for a haunted house that managed to be a big deal fairly quick (much like Alberto Del Rio), there's plenty of entertainment value here.

OVERALL RATING: *** out of ****.  I wouldn't quite call it a "classic" like many critics have, but it's a fairly good fun time.  How's that for vague copout statements?