Directed by William Friedkin
Starring Linda Blair, Ellen Burstyn, Max von Sydow and Jason Miller
Now here's a review that I've been very dubious about for a long time. You know, there are people on this great planet of ours who have the gall to suggest that THIS GUY (*the douchebaggy thumb gesture returns*) is a contrarian just for contrarian's sake. GALL, I tell ya. My favorite horror movies of all time are Carpenter's Halloween, the Ju-On series, Jaws and Suspiria, and I think it's safe to say that all of those things qualify to being as close to "universally lauded" as you're going to get. I love Steven Spielberg and Alfred Hitchcock just as much as all the snooty film profs do. But when it comes to the movie in question today...
In the event that you peruse a couple dozen of the literally thousands of reviews of The Exorcist, the 1973 film based on William Peter Blatty's novel, you're likely to read several phrases over and over. "Scariest movie of all time," "harrowing," "seminal," the list of superlatives, big words and flat-out verbal orgasm that reviewers spew out about this film is staggering. It was the first horror movie to be nominated for Best Picture, it grossed the GDP of a small country and - most impressively - it's one of the very few horror movies out there that seems to be okay for "normal," non-horror-mutant people to like. Now is about the time when you can call me an annoying contrarian, because I've just never seen what the fuss is all about with this flick, hence why I rarely talk about it and why it was never inducted into the Registry here on the blog (a fact that, amazingly enough, a couple people actually noticed).
Hopefully, this review gets a few people talking and elicits some Prince-style controversy because, quite frankly (/Stephen A. Smith), it's January in Minnesota and I'm really freakin' bored. But not as bored as this film makes me. *rimshot*
PLOT: Little Regan McNeil (Linda Blair) begins showing some very strange behavior. Frequent swearing, abnormal strength, vomiting pea soup...all slightly off. Regan's mother, a famous actress (Ellen Burstyn) living in Washington, D.C., spends a good portion of the opening third of the film getting Regan tested, but as the girl becomes more and more afflicted by whatever is wrong with her, the agnostic actress begins to take heed to the suggestion that her daughter may be possessed by a demon. We also periodically get glimpses into the life of Father Karras (Jason Miller), a Priest who has lost his faith in God after the death of his mother. As fate would have it, it's Father Karras who is called to the case when the time comes for Regan to be exorcised of her demon, leading to a final showdown of epic proportions in the final trimester.
This aspect of the film actually works for me. It's a classic setup of skepticism vs. religion on many fronts, as Burstyn's character is an avowed Agnostic who takes all of the "demon" talk with a grain of salt...initially. When your daughter starts masturbating with a Crucifix, it's always time to start taking those words a little more seriously. The film is also a good example of classic three-act structure played out and written very well, and if there's one thing that I mark the hell out for in this day and age of 57 false climaxes, it's three-act structure. See? Little things can impress me.
PLOT RATING: *** out of ****.
The remaining characters are played by very talented people. This is doubly true for Father Merrin, another Priest brought onto the case by a local Bishop when it becomes clear that Karras is in over his head. Merrin is played by Max von Sydow, an esteemed and venerable (because vocabulary words are impressive) Swedish actor who has appeared in no less than 11 films directed by Ingmar Bergman in addition to one the slam-bang true-life serial killer film Citizen X - one of my favorite movies ever. Unfortunately (which is rapidly becoming a constant word in this section of my reviews), I'm just not into all of the other characters in this film. Burstyn's Chris comes across, to me, as clueless and not very sympathetic, while Merrin is cold and unrelatable. Or maybe I'm just a moron. I will state, however, that the opinion isn't uneducated, because I have also seen not just one but two crappy prequel films that delve into the epic backstory that is Father Merrin. Since this guy is present for most of the movie's money scenes...it just falls flat for me.
CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: ** 1/2 out of ****.
COOL FACTOR: Sometimes, life can be funny. After watching Sleepaway Camp for the first time, getting sucked in to its admittedly cheesy story and fun atmosphere only to be shocked into oblivion by THAT ending, I had trouble sleeping. And had nightmares. For whatever reason, I can watch this movie - a movie of infinitely more artful execution and sharp storytelling - and sleep like a baby immediately afterward. The strange thing is I really can't explain why, which is pretty much sign #1 that I'm not an esepcially good reviewer.
By all accounts, The Exorcist SHOULD frighten me. A good online friend once told me that the frightening power of this film comes from how religious the viewer is, and that because many of the film's original viewers in 1973 were devoutly religious people, this film was repulsing and disturbing to them. Hopefully saying this in a public forum doesn't piss people off (and I don't think it will), but I am a VERY religious person. Hell, I'm the only person I know in my age bracket who attends an organized Mass every week. As such, I'm extremely wary and scared of demons and demonology, and yet, this film does nothing for me. Maybe it's the fact that the styles of the film are so jarring; the slow pacing of the scenes with Karras followed by such deliberately over-the-top theatricality with Regan's various disturbing incidents (and her voice, no less). That's as good an explanation as I can think of for why I do not find this film particularly frightening. But then again, I'm a devoutly religious guy who loves stage blood. Much like the British Bulldog, I'm BIZARRE!
COOL FACTOR: * 1/2 out of ****.
OVERALL: I don't know what else to add to this section, other than just sum everything up. The story of The Exorcist is one with a great setup ut one that falls flat with me for several reasons. The acting is great but the characters are one-note; the scare scenes are visually appealing but trite and over-the-top; the ending, while emotional, smacks of "poetic just for poetic's sake." Amazingly enough, one of this very film's SEQUELS manages to do this story infinitely better - the creepy, atmospheric and genuinely scary Exorcist III, directed by William Peter Blatty himself and based on his novel Legion. It should also be noted that this film has the single greatest scare in the history of scares - type "Exorcist III nurse station scene" into Youtube and get ready to jump.
This film, however, is instant Nyquil for yours truly.
*takes breath*
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking ot it. (/Colin Quinn)
OVERALL RATING: ** out of ****. Well-directed and acted, but ultimately a flick that isn't all that effective.
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