Slasher movies are made up of many different aspects, all of which are represented perfectly within Friday the 13th movies. The theme that a lot of them share is that they break some kind of taboo, something that you're not supposed to see when you're a little kid and you first heard about and/or saw these movies with a freaky dude in a hockey mask for the first time. First and foremost was the promise of blood. Somewhere in there is some curse words. And last but definitely not least is some good old-fashioned gratuitous nudity. For a Friday the 13th movie, gratuitous nudity is kind of a vital element. Not just because it's fun to look at, but because it served a very important purpose - letting you know that this series wasn't f**king around, and that anything was possible. Meat cleavers to the face, decapitations, red-hot pokers through the stomach...all of that, and more, can happen, because the chick got naked already anyway.
Either that or I'm just trying to make myself sound way smarter than I really am for enjoying this aspect of the series so much. You be the judge. With that, let's get to it.
LICK NESS MONSTER'S FIVE HOTTEST GIRLS IN THE FRIDAY THE 13TH SERIES
5.
Before I get started here...you know, kids, I was debating just how pervy to be when writing this article, and decided to scale it back. Somewhat. Anyway, I've always had a soft spot for Marcie. Partially because she's in the original, and partially because she's the original movie's resident Bad Girl. I'm a firm believer in this theory: just like women with Bad Boys, the Bad Girl is always hotter. She makes up one-half of the flick's beefcake couple along with Kevin Bacon and gets the privilege of being in the series' original sex scene, expose her cans, and parade around in the ensemble you see above as an added bonus. It was a moment of clarity for 13-year-old Lick Ness Monster.
4.
It's likely that most fans prefer Kirsten Baker out of the amazing trilogy of Part 2 hotties, but for whatever reason I've always preferred Vicky. Again...I just think it's the characterization. Just look at that image above, devilish smirk and all. That entire sequence, as Vicky goes about preparing herself for sex with Mark, is simply golden. Secondly, I'm actually really surprised that Lauren-Marie Taylor herself never made it bigger as an actress. She ripples with charisma throughout her admittedly brief screen time here, and while she did some soap operas and other things, surely the macho-bravado action movies of the time could have used her for some good love interest roles. Make this happen, fanfic writers.
3.
TFC has an outstanding gamut of qualities. It covers the bases of the slasher flick better than any other movie in the series, and it definitely doesn't disappoint in the smokin' babes quotient. Of these, Judie Aronson is definitely the hottest and gets ample opportunity to show it off via a pair of skinny-dipping scenes. Of course, I should also mention that the character of Samantha herself is the movie's resident Bad Girl (noticing a trend yet?), beating out the likes of the wholly uninteresting twins who take over the movie's teen-centric subplots. Truly the best of every world, especially that Aronson herself would only get hotter in later movies and this was your chance to see her in the buff.
2.
Another movie, another Bad Girl. This time we've got the special attraction of a redhead, always a plus in Lick Ness Monster Land. Robin and her gawky friend Maddy are both vying for the affections of the criminal-esque studly guy in the movie, and Robin's seductive confidence wins out. Not hard to see why, given just how ridiculously hot she is. Much like Lauren-Marie Taylor, I always felt that Elizabeth Kaitan herself was just one decent role away from hitting the big-time considering her charisma and obvious...other assets, if you know what I mean. If you're questioning whether or not I've spoken to an actual human female within six months by now, I won't hold it against you.
1.
When I actually have difficulty finding a picture that adequately conveys someone's hotness, there's no question that it's your #1 pick. Without question, Tina is the hottest girl in the entire F13 pantheon. She's the movie's Bad Girl. She gets naked. Like, we're talking, well. And from the stories told in the excellent "Crystal Lake Memories" book, the scene was originally much more "Strong R" than what we got - which was plenty. Debi-Sue Voorhees circa 1985 was just simply stunning, from her angelic face to her perfect curves to her ridiculous cup size. As such, I can't fault director Danny Steinmann in the least bit for going full-on perv when it came to shooting that sex scene.
No wrap-up text needed. Guys of the world, no horror fandom is required to get entry into Friday the 13th fandom. In addition to hilariously inept victim characters, if you're a fan of hot, minimally (and sometimes less) dressed women, look no further than these movies.
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