Directed by Mennan Yapo
Starring Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon, Nia Long, Kate Nelligan, Amber Valletta and Peter Stormare
Let's get in the time machine and take a trip to the not-so-distant past of 2007. The spring of 2007 is something that I remember quite well, not because of any noteworthy life event or anything, more for the VIBE this time period has. I was still living in my college town, but that nightmare was only a few months away from ending, and I knew it. I was pretty much hardcore convalescing while waiting for a fresh start, working a couple low-end jobs and catching a whole bunch of movies at theaters in my spare time. Hell, I saw just about EVERY mainstream Hollywood release that came out every week for the better part of six months. This was when I saw Zodiac, a flick that timed up PERFECTLY with my interest in serial killers, and man, what an awesome movie that was. But it's also when I saw Because I Said So, a movie so generic that it might as well have just been called "Romantic Comedy Movie"...and Premonition. I really hated this movie when I first saw it, and while it's a BIT better after re-watching it for this review, I've still got to say that it's essentially teh sucksz.
It goes without saying that all actors have at least a few turkeys in them. I mean...does Robert De Niro even READ scripts anymore? If so, how do you explain Dirty Grandpa? The same goes for Sandra Bullock. First things first, I am a fan. She's from the generation just before the current crop of actors who just all seem too slackerish/emo to be relatable, but between this and a few other films that I could mention (she has a Razzie and actually showed up to accept it, for f**k's sake), you definitely can't win 'em all. I can only assume that she took this role because she really believed in it, because it only had a budget of $20 million. That's probably her whole paycheck in an average movie. As such, it's weird to see her in sleepwalking mode for 96 minutes, but I digress. That should about do it for the bibble babble. Time to delve into the impenetrable web of mystery (/trailer voice) that is this movie.
The basics: Bullock plays Linda Hanson, who has just been surprised with a new house by her husband Jim. Along with their two daughters, they settle into said house and we get the "getting to know the family for emotional investment" phase of the movie. It's analysis like this that you can't get at any other blog, folks. While Bullock tackles this movie with about as much emotion as Daniel Craig on sedatives, Julian McMahon does not, for better or worse. I say that because there's few guys who play a better douche than him, but it's not like it's hard to buy. For starters, he has to have some kind of record when it comes to the hotness of his wives. The dude went from Dannii Minogue to Brooke Burns. That makes him a legend. And since this is Julian McMahon playing Sandra Bullock's husband in a familial drama, we can pretty much assume that he's out there banging somebody else.
The plot: If you remember the commercials for this film, I can report that you've pretty much seen the movie already. One day, Linda is surprised by a knock on the door from a police officer who informs her that Jim has just died in a car accident. She goes through all of the requisite film stages of grief (read: pained expressions which may or may not include actors manufacturing some tears for the camera), then goes to bed...and Jim is alive and well. WTF. The movie's gimmick is that the days are jumbling around, and that Linda is the only one who seems to know about it. Only since she knows her husband is dying...light bulb...she can try to stop it. It's actually not too bad of an idea on paper, and could have been pulled off with different execution. However, the execution here is pretty rough.
The horror scene in 2007 was a bit of a transition period. The massive wave of remakes were just starting to get rolling, while the Saw series was dominating the box office. J-horror-styled films were kind of in their last gasp. That's what the film-makers were definitely going for with Premonition, because the pace in this movie is VERY slow. A slow pace definitely isn't a bad thing in and of itself; it can be FANTASTIC when we care about the characters or if there is a genuine sense of unpredictablity to what's going on. This flick has neither of those things.
For an example of what we're dealing with here, there's this one endless sequence that takes place fairly late in the movie where Linda, after having already flashed to something like six different days in the final week of her husband's life and discovering that he is considering but hasn't quite committed adultery, slowly sits him down on their bed and places a shoe on his foot. I'm sure that this looked really emotional and profound in the script. On the screen, it actually made my theatrical audience laugh. I remember that ten years later, kids. Speaking of, Jesus, it's been TEN YEARS? That makes me feel old.
The only other thing I'd like to share about this film's plot is that we get a Peter Stormare sighting. At a certain point, Linda's actions worry the authorities (on what day this takes place isn't relevant - watch the movie if you want vital details like this) and a psychologist is required in the story. Said psychologist is played by Stormare. Even if you don't know his name, I can GUARANTEE that you've seen him from somewhere. Character actor extraordinaire, this man is. My personal favorites are the psychotic pancake-obsessed killer in Fargo and Slippery Pete from Seinfeld. Hey, you owe me a quarter. Unfortunately, here, he's just another charismaless character who spouts off the scripted lines in very robotic fashion. Whatever it was about this movie that made everyone go on valium must have been magical.
So...Premonition. Yeah, this one wasn't good. Walking out of the theater, I remember hearing this exact conversation between a couple girls walking out at the same time I was: "Wow...I hated it." "Yeah, you can't win 'em all." My sentiments exactly, women that I don't know. It's slow, it's boring, there's almost no tension, the characters aren't interesting, and all of the actors are on autopilot with the exception of McMahon. But McMahon was basically playing himself, so I don't know if that was much of an accomplishment.
* 1/2 out of ****. That might be a bit too generous considering that the film barely managed to hold my attention, both then and now. But any film that at least tries to have a J-horror tone gets a sympathy half-a-star from me. Yet more quality film criticism, right there.
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