Directed by Jeff Burr
Starring Andrew Robinson Ami Dolenz, Soleil Moon Frye, Hill Harper and Linnea Quigley
This is yet another one of those flicks that used to beckon me from the video store aisle. Just check out that video box art. Perusing my local mom & pop video store as a kid was practically a hobby, and the "new release horror" section was always my favorite. Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings. Hell, I didn't even know that there was a Pumpkinhead I at the time. A demon crawling out of the bottom of the box toward the viewer? Count me in, although I was sufficiently terrified at that time to not even consider giving this movie a rental.
Flash-forward 10-odd years. I'd seen the original movie by that point when I saw the mythical flick with the crazy box art come up on the AMC (because apparently this movie was a "Classic" - remember when that channel was primarily about movies as opposed to TV shows that are just so enjoyable in watching dark antiheroes spiral downward to some kind of bittersweet comeuppance? Those were some good days). And...it kinda sucked. It wasn't TERRIBLE or anything, but just kind of there, and aside from the presence of scream queen Linnea Quigley, that's an opinion that hasn't changed much for me after watching my $2.22 DVD copy.
Now, the first movie is pretty damn good, with a DEADLY serious tone to its subject matter and Lance Henriksen turning in a tour de force performance as a father who wants vengeance for his son's death and lives to regret it. That vengeance comes in the form of an indestructible monster that the local witch doctor is able to call upon. This time around, our 1958 prologue introduces us to the concept of a weird-looking orphan named Tommy that the eccentric Mrs. Osie is taking care of. A group of marauding teens happen across said orphan and begin chasing after him with whatever weapons are handy. Long story short, they are successful...and ladies and gentlemen, that is a prologue.
Flash forward to the present day, where we meet our cast of teenage characters in the town of Ferren Woods. Our "stars," as they are, are Sean Braddock (Robinson) and his daughter Jenny (Dolenz), recent transplants to town after the former got offered the job of town Sheriff. A good deal of the preamble consists of Jenny making friends with the local trouble-making hooligans, and I'm guessing that this is the point that a lot of people decided to forget this movie existed the second they returned this video. Retro-chic wardrobes aside, none of them are particularly memorable or nuanced, with only Danny Dixon (J. Trevor Edmond) standing out as someone with a vague personality.
As the first act spirals out of control, the teens head out into the woods, where they happen across the same witch seen in the opening scenes. There's a slightly convoluted series of events that leads to Danny stealing some vials of blood (don't ask) and accidentally-on-purpose resurrecting Tommy as the new Pumpkinhead. There's your setup. Commence series of deaths. That's pretty much your story, kids.
Well, that's not entirely accurate, as there is a side plot involving Danny's father - the town's Judge who was one of the people who murdered Tommy all those years ago. Upon the resurrection, it's all of the people connected to the Judge who begin dying in slightly-better-than-boring ways, and Sean reinserts himself into the story by finding out some vital clues from Mrs. Osie about how to kill the Pumpkinhead. The third act actually does pick up a little bit, particularly after Judge Dixon gets offed and the monster starts going after Danny and his friends. Not quite enough to lull me out of the half-asleep state that I was in while watching the DVD, but it picks up nonetheless.
Time to wrap up this dog and pony show. The original movie was something that grabbed my attention; Pumpkinhead II...well, it's just kinda there. Particularly the characters. Even Punky Brewster herself couldn't save this one, and that says something. In addition, Tommy/Pumpkinhead himself doesn't look particularly menacing. He's more laughable than anything else, and LOADS different from the Stan Winston-created masterpiece in the original. Pacing-wise, it's also very stilted, going from start-to-stop like WWE booking. With that, I'm all tapped out.
* 1/2 out of ****. Vanilla to the core. Avoid.
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