Horror Nerd Cinema Bonus: "The Final Destination"

I've already regaled MANY other people with the excruciating details of what I went through to see this movie, so I'll just say this...this movie isn't worth a 200 mile round trip, but if you live near a 3D theater, it's definitely worth the voyage.

OK, first of all, the plot. I didn't even need to rewatch the FD series recently to realize that all of the films essentially share the same plot, and they keep the status quo on this one. Group of nubile...actually, it doesn't exactly say what these kids are. High school? Naw, can't be, since one of the couples lives together in a spacious house. College? That doesn't seem likely, either. Well, a group of nubile young people goes to a potentially dangerous situation, in this case a stock car race, lead protagonist character has a vision of horrible death and convinces his own group and a few lucky passerby into leaving the area, all hell breaks loose...and then death comes on the prowl. In other words, you won't remember "The Final Destination" for its minty freshness in the plot department.

You also won't remember it for its acting, because with the exception of Bobby Campo as Nick, the main character of the film, and the insanely underrated Mykelti Williamson as the racing ground's security guard, pretty much every actor in this film is bad beyond compare. The biggest offender, perhaps, is the poor soul who portrays the stereotypical redneck character who is also the first person in the film to bite it after the big movie-opening accident, but he is somehow much less grating than the other three main characters. Nick's douchy friend (played by Nick Zano) actually manages to generate a few laughs with his best Stiffler impersonation, but the girls who act as love interests to the two males pretty much kill every scene they appear in. Yikes.

Of course, none of this even matters. What matters is that "The Final Destination" is a hell of a lot of fun if you see it like I did - in a packed house surrounded by a group of like-minded thrill seekers eager to see the gruesome, creative kill sequences that the FD series is known for in glorious 3D. And since this is what the people (and, admittedly, I) paid to see, this movie delivers on its most important trait. In a year in which many fans complained that the "Friday the 13th" remake failed to deliver on a visceral level, the kills in "The Final Destination" are simply a sight to behold. There were complaints, as well, that the trailer to this film gave away all of the kills. Believe me, there's LOADS more mayhem in this movie than even the crammed-to-the-brim trailer lets on. Handing out an award for best death in this movie is a tall order, so just rest assured when I tell you that this movie WILL have you cringing quite a bit in your seat watching the 3D gore, and various sharp and hard objects that serve as the primary villain in this series, pop right out at you.

For quick summary: the storyline and the acting in this movie pale in comparison to the 2000 original, which was a good flick but far from a classic. But as an insanely fun time at the movie theater, recommended, brutha.

Loved the opening credits sequence and the ending, as well. Very stylistic.